from august to december

chapter thirty nine

clouds so big in the sky, they were almost as suffocating as the fear that the story from four years ago would repeat itself.

the black haired had been running after the love of his life when he walked away from the rooftop with zero hesitation.

eden caught yuri on his way to the ground floor in the thirteenth floor.

"yuri, wait, no," he called out to the older and tried reaching for him but failed to grab his arm.
with every step they grew farther apart and the distance between their love grew bigger.

they weren't meant for anything longterm. they were meant to fall in love with each other to heal and then move in from each other.

they weren't meant to get married and live their lives together, to be buried in the same grave.
they weren't meant to be together in their youth and shape each other into their adulthood.

so, yuri didn't stop walking away from eden. his steps got faster with every movement.

"yuri!!" eden's voice rang in his ears as he chased after him through the corridors and ran down the stairs close behind him.

but no matter how fast he was, the other was always a step ahead of him.

"wait, please, don't go."
the words were so incredibly familiar for both of them to hear and the two of them never wanted to hear them ever again.

eden swallowed the pain in his chest and the panic attack that was rising from his gut.
he wasn't going to allow it to end like this again.

"i messed up, yuri, please wait!"
yuri didn't wait.

his steps were quicker, and his head was empty, he didn't realize how fast he was running down the stairs, but he knew that eden wasn't going to stop.

so he did.
he wrapped his fingers around the metal staircase and caught his breath while waiting for eden to arrive in front of him.

and it only took a couple seconds.

the younger stopped a few meters in front of him, a pair of stairs still separated them and eden stood on top of them.
their was a little circle window on the yellowish wall behind eden and the setting sun shone through it just as much so it felt a little less cold and hostile.

just the heavy and shaky breaths of both of them filled the air.

"you're not going, right? not again," eden whispered with a voice so soft and calmly it nearly melted yuri's legs and made him fall to his knees.

he couldn't say anything in return.
but silence was not an option.

"eden, i can't do this," he voiced out with the last piece of strength left inside of his lungs before he looked away from the other man's face and stared at the floor.

his eyes were blurry and he could feel his whole chest being squeezed together in pain.

"i promise you, i'll change, i'll change please, i got this, yuri, give me time, i won't disappoint you," eden babbled desperately and jumped down the pair of stairs swiftly to stand on the same height as him.

he tried to grab yuri's hand like he always did when he was scared but the man backed off.

"you don't ever change, this is who you are and i can't deal with that."

if there was anyone watching them, they could see eden's whole body falling apart in that second, how it felt like his soul was sucked out of his lungs painfully slow with every weak breath he took.

the words were so strong and had so much effect on him especially coming from yuri.
eden took a few steps backwards until his feet touched the stairs again and the sun shone onto the back of his head again.

"yuri," he stared at the older's face.

he hated himself for not being able to be mad at him anymore.
and yuri couldn't be either. the way eden said his name was his biggest weakness and it was all it took for him to forgive the black haired.

but this was the best solution for the both of them.

yuri and eden loved each other too much to be in love happily.

because it was something way stronger than love, and it was too strong for the both of them to be capable to hold the pressure of it.

however, yuri couldn't allow himself to be soft in return, because softness makes harshness looks painful.

and he had to do this in the least hurtful way possible to assure that eden would make it without him by his side.

"we're done," he stated before continuing to run down the stairs.

into the seventh floor.

into the fifth floor.

and eden continued to stand on the thirteenth floor, he just stood there and he wasn't able to comprehend the fact that all of this was gone now.

that a part of himself just died inside of his own heart.

that yuri had just left him for the second time in the exact same way while telling him that he was the one that never changed.

but when that realization hit him a few seconds later, there were no words for the feeling inside of him.

his legs were too weak to stand and so he sunk onto the stairs, wrapping his arms around his knees and sobbing into his pants.

and he didn't cry very quietly, he yelled, he punched the wall next to him and probably ripped out a bunch of his own hair.

while yuri was at the ground floor and pushed the door open.
he was collected. he looked like he was collected.

maybe because the adrenalin was still in his blood.

yuri coughed.

he knew that he did the right thing as he circled his shoulders and took shino's car to drive back to the house.

eden didn't know yet. but soon he would agree.

"i love you, yuri," eden whispered to himself.

this time, he knew that eden said it again.
but he didn't say it back this time.