from august to december

chapter forty one

when shino got back from london, the sky was clear and it was a pretty pleasant temperature, the clouds were white and the sun was bright.

this time, there were only two people in the car, eli and eden.

yuri wasn't near anymore and matio had to work out some stuff at the company so he couldn't come join them.
so, eden sat on the drivers seat because eli was still too scared to touch another steering well or step on the gas pedal again when he didn't have to.

it was early in the morning and when they got out of eden's tiny, white volkswagen, tight fog surrounded them and blocked their vision.

only eli's bright red hair stood out very much from the grey and fuzzy color of the air, and so they both walked into the building and to the gate where shino would arrive soon.

eden lifted his gaze and looked up at the glass ceiling.

whatever he felt, he couldn't properly put it into words anyway, so he just didn't say anything anymore.

it was so unusual not to hear him talk all the time, his eyes were dull, empty, as if his soul was sucked out of his body and only his outer shell was left.

his shiny aura and smooth steps were gone, his voice was raspy and his skin was cracked, deep eyebags, swollen eyes from not sleeping and crooked hands from not using hand cream every morning anymore.

"did yuri go back home?" eli tried starting a conversation, to which eden only nodded.

and the red haired understood that it was best to just leave him alone.

eden wished he could just control the feelings inside of him, how he could control when he started and stopped walking, eating, sleeping.

but love, he just couldn't control. it was a state he couldn't get out of no matter how hard he tried.

it wasn't like studying when he could just put the paper down and decide he was finished for the day.
with love, he had to hold onto the paper until the force of his hands was too big and the paper would eventually rip.

that was the only time he would be able to stop loving.

when the cause of his love was gone.

but yuri was still somewhere, and while he was still somewhere, eden didn't dare to give up on it.

while he let his thoughts wander off as he counted the panels of glass on the ceiling, eli suddenly tucked his shirt and pointed to a brown haired, tall man with a black suitcase and a green scarf.

"is that shino?" eli questioned while tilting his head.
the brown haired man looked around confusedly and eli recognized the cute awkwardness.

"it is!" he cheered and waved both of his arms hysterically.

eden couldn't even be happy.
actually, he was happy, he just couldn't show it.

park shino walked up to them with quick steps and embraced a jumpy eli who returned the warm hug and whirled shino around from side to side.

"how was it?" he asked right away when the welcome hug was over and shino moved over to eden to also hold him in his arms again.

their hug was weak from eden's side and he just quietly stroked the now brown haired's back.

"did you dye your hair?" eli babbled from the side but shino was focused on eden.

his vacation has given him new energy.
his dark eyes scanned eden.

"where's yuri?" he asked in return and eli shut up in the exact second the question left the older's mouth.

he wasn't mad that the brown haired ignored all his questions.
eden didn't respond, he looked down at his feet.

"he went back home, like he said," eli reminded shino who let out a heavy breath from his mouth and wrapped an arm around eden in comfort.

eden snuggled into the crook of his shoulder and held onto shino's shirt. to smell his cologne and to be like he was when he was a little younger again, when he felt like the oldest was the father he never had.

"are you okay?" shino whispered into eden's hair and eden shook his head truthfully.

but for now, shino decided to let it rest and go home first, make some tea-

wait? tea? he had gotten really british over the last two weeks.

his aunt had given him a lot of strength, definitely.

the way back home was silent, shino nearly fell asleep in the backseat, and when they were home, he happily stretched out his arms on the sidewalk as he exited the car.

both of the other men helped him unload his stuff into the home.
when minnie heard the familiar sound of the keys in the lock, she barked happily and jumped up on her owner's legs while wiggling her little tail.

shino laughed and kneeled down to give her a little kiss on her wet nose and then continued to unpack.

suddenly, he was sad.

yuri wasn't going to run down the stairs to welcome him back, there wasn't even a note on his kitchen table.

he sighed.

"do you guys wanna stay for a little, catch up?" shino walked back to the front door and yelled to eden's car, who was already ready to drive back home.

even though the black haired wanted to disappear in a hole for the rest of his life, he cracked his neck bones and nodded to the oldest.

so, they say on the grey cough, shino turned on the chimney and brewed some black tea he had brought from england.

eden sunk into the sofa, his knees close to his upper body and his head resting on them.
he was wearing a black zipper, it looked suspiciously like the one yuri wore when he met up with shino for the first time again.

eli sat down next to him but kept his distance, he knew it would be better that way rather than invalidate his privacy.

shino sat down on the exact same armchair yuri sat in a month ago when they resolved their conflict.

"did something happen?" the oldest threw the question into the room which made eden hide his face instantly.

but he nodded.

and eli closed his eyes and could've hit himself in that moment for being so careless and just walking off that day and leaving a vulnerable yuri alone with eden.

after a few seconds, the black haired started speaking, tears built up in the corners of his eyes and when he thought about that september evening, he could finally feel something.

it was pain, but it was something.

earlier, he loved the days where he wouldn't have to pretend he felt anything, where his chest was naturally numb.

now, all he wanted was to have his human emotions back.

he started talking like a waterfall that had been stopped by a dam and all the information and feelings poured out of him.

eli and shino shared a look.
a weird look.

then shino gulped, but his face was soft.

so soft, so pitiful.