Too Broken to Love

8

When I finally helped Spencer inside I walked him straight into the living room. All 3 kids were sitting waiting, a bowl of warm water, band aids, and a wash cloth all piled on the coffee table. I ushered him to the couch and made him sit down, while I crouched in front of him and began cleaning the cut on his lip.

Once it was clean I realized that I had not gotten Ice for his face and quickly went to the kitchen to grab a bag of frozen peas. As I got closer to the living room I could hear the Kids talking to Spencer.

"So you're friends with mom right?" Riley asked
"Yeah, Your mother is a great person" He replied awkwardly.
Poor spencer. I know I should just go back in there but I kind of want to see how he is with them.

I hover on the other side of the door out of view and listen.
"Does your face hurt?" Anna asked.
"Only a little bit" He replied.
"Did my dad do that to you?" Jacob asked
"Yeah, but listen kids, Your dad was having a bad day and I don't think it was on purpose!"

He is trying to protect them from thinking bad about their father. I thought to myself as my heart fluttered.

"So" he continued "Your mom has told me all about you guys, but I don't know who is who?" He questioned. I could hear him playfully mix up their names causing all the kids to laugh at him, the echo of their laughs filling the house.

"What is so funny?" I asked walking back into the living room and handing him the bag of peas for his cheek.
He winced as he pressed the bag to hit face but then a smile crept across his face.
"Mom, Spencer is funny! I like him!" Riley smiled as Anna and Jacob nodded.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! Can he come play with us sometime?" Jacob asked.
"Well that's up to Spencer?"

Spencer looked up at me and smiled "I would love to come play with you guys!"
"Maybe you can help us with our treehouse?" Riley asked.

As much as I loved they were bonding, I knew I had to cut it short. It had gotten late and they needed to go to bed, and I needed to find a way to explain everything to them in the morning.
"Maybe, but for now you all need to go get in bed!"

They groaned in unison before the boys walked off to their rooms. Anna crept over to Spencer and gave him a hug before kissing his good cheek. "I hope your face feels better!" She said before leaving and walking to her room.

"Thank you!" I said when I knew they were gone.
"You don't have to thank me, they are great kids!" He winced again, as I moved to crouch between his legs. I placed one hand over his on the bag of peas and another hand on the other side of his face, looking into his eyes.

"I do! You didn't need to defend Chris, but I heard what you said to protect them!" I smiled as he leaned forward and kissed my forehead before pulling me into a hug.
"Averleigh there is nothing I wouldn't do for you! You have amazing children, and they are innocent in all of this!"

My face breaks into a smile as my heart flutters for this man sitting in front of me. I want nothing more than to grab him and show him how much he means to me, but a nagging voice in my head is reminding me that I cannot give him what he deserves.

At the thought my body tenses and I pull away looking around the room as if I were a teenager who just got caught home alone with my boyfriend after skipping school. The panic must have been clear on my face as I frantically looked anywhere but Spencer, because I felt a hand cup the side of my face and pull me to face him as he set the bag of peas down.

His face was already showing purple and red splotches, but the swelling had gone down. There was no doubt he would be bruised tomorrow. I stared at his cheek, unwilling to look in his eyes and risk my heart taking over the reality in my head telling me that I could never be enough for him.
I traced my finger along the bruise on his cheek.