Too Broken to Love

30

Averleigh's pov

The week following that first doctor visit was awkward. I was avoiding Spencer and I knew I shouldn't be. He had done nothing but try to support me that day and instead of allowing myself to be comforted, I fell into old habits and called Bailey, then I hastily made an excuse for him to take me back home.

He didn't argue when he dropped me off at my house and I told him I needed some time. This whole thing was seriously terrifying me to the point that I wanted to completely isolate myself and never go out in public again.

It had been almost a week. I was on desk duty due to being pregnant, something which clearly shocked my shift as much as it shocked me. After getting off work I picked up the kids from Baileys and went home. Riley had grabbed the mail and handed it to me as we pulled in the driveway, before asking again about his birthday.

I truly wanted to give him the birthday he wanted, I just didn't think I could. I told him we could talk about it later and ushered them all into the house. They disappeared to their rooms as usual and I sat at the kitchen table looking through the mail.

Tucked at the bottom was a white envelope, the front only had my name written in Cursive. I cautiously opened the envelope pulling out a letter that had $500 in cash tucked inside.

Averleigh,
I know you need space and I am doing my best to give it to you, but it is killing me not to speak to you or see you at all. I know you're reluctant to accept help so think of this as a gift for Riley. Rent him that slide he wants , I promised he could get it and I don't break my promises! Whatever is left use for the party! I hope you can find it in your heart to call me soon, but I won't push you!
I love you, forever and always.
Spencer.

Tears were filling my eyes. Was I really an awful person. Spencer was trying to be everything I ever wanted. Supportive and by my side and yet I continued to push him away. This baby was just as much his as mine and yet he was willing to leave me in control of our next steps. Not only that, but here he was ensuring that my kids, the ones that he had no reason to feel responsible for, got what they wanted for their birthday.

I knew what I needed to do, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. It was around seven and he should have been off work by now. As I waited I heard the tone of the answering machine picking up.

"Hey Spence its me,
I'm sorry I'm being such an idiot. I promise it's nothing you've done I just struggle with talking about things. Anyway I just wanted to say thank you for the money for the slide! I know Riley will be so happy! I wanted to invite you to his party Saturday at 3 if you think you can. I also want to give us some time to talk. There is still things I need to explain. Anyway let me know when you get this.
I love you.

I hung up the phone, called and reserved the slide, and then texted invites to all the parents. As much as I didn't want to I also sent Chris an invite, hoping that he was still on his honeymoon with whatever her name was. It sucks that we would never be able to co-parent, but too much had happened with him and his so called wife for me to ever feel like that was an option.

After bathing the kids and tucking them in for the night I curled up on the couch with some wine. I was on my third or fourth glass when my phone chimed with a text from Chris announcing they would both be in attendance. I swallowed another giant gulp of wine to help calm me, momentarily forgetting all about the fact that I was pregnant. Then my phone rang.

I looked at the caller ID and instantly regretted drinking at all. Nervously I answered hoping my speech wasn't slurred. I didn't need Spencer to hate me.

"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey, sorry I missed your call I was working late, are you okay?" He asked
"No.. I did... I've done something stupid ... I need you! Can you come over?" I said with a hiccup.
"I'm on my way, just stay where you are okay?" He replied.