Too Broken to Love

16

I can admit that I was not oblivious to the fact I had chosen to wear the same dress from that winter formal. Thankfully it was a knee length dress which now fit half way up my thigh, however the rest of the dress fit just as perfectly as it did back then.

To say that I was lucky that after three kids and almost ten years the dress still fit would be an understatement. In fact the only reason I had kept it was in the hopes that Anna may wish to wear it to her own winter formal. Yet here I was looking into the awestruck face of the only man that ever accompanied me anywhere in it, while the dress itself seemed to effortlessly hug my body in all the right places.

I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable as Spencer stood eyeballing every inch of me at the bottom of the stairwell.

"Is it too much?" I asked unable to take the silence any longer.
"No!" he said pulling me closer to kiss my forehead. "You look just as perfect as you did in high school!"
He pulled back and smiled at me, still looking dazed. Then he ran his fingers through his hair and reached down for my hand.
"Lets get going, I made us a reservation." He smiled pulling me towards the door.

Once I had locked the door to the house, Spencer opened the door to his truck helping me climb up into the passenger seat. He climbed into the drivers seat and carefully backed out of the driveway.
As he began driving towards the city I couldn't help but keep glancing at him. He was wearing a nice black suit with a white button up shirt. He had a whole movie star, red carpet vibe going on which was making me flustered as my mind thought of every way I tear it off his body.

I kept my eyes glued to the road, trying to banish the indecent thoughts of stripping him down. We were supposed to be starting a new page of sorts, forgetting all the bad stuff and entering a new beginning.

That meant that I needed to treat this like a first date. No kissing until after dinner, and definitely not taking him home after. We needed to do this the right way, and that meant I had to keep my lust for him in check.

He reached out and turned the radio station as he pulled into the city lights. Then he reached down and wound his fingers with mine, rubbing my wrist with his thumb as he hummed to the country song playing on the radio.

When we finally pulled into the parking lot, Spencer shut the engine off before climbing out and opening my door and helping me out of the truck. "We can take the elevator up." He smiled, before walking me over to the elevator. Once inside he hit the button for the top floor, which I assumed would be for the restaurant, my body immediately tensed up.

"Do you plan on pushing me off the roof?" I teased, trying to hide the panic I was feeling.
"No, just wait. It's a surprise!" He smiled as I clutched his hand in mine.
He looked at me questioningly as I held onto his hand tightly, but he didn't pressure me for an explanation, and I didn't offer one.

I didn't want to admit to Spencer that I hated elevators. I had been in my fair share of them while my father battled cancer. Every week we took him for chemo or radiation treatments, the elevator the only way to get to the cancer floor with his body visibly weaker each time. After that last time, when we had to leave the elevator without him, knowing he would never smile at me again, or meet his grandchildren, or walk me down the aisle, I swore never to set foot in one again.

When the doors finally opened on the roof of the building I barely registered my surroundings as I leapt forward out of the elevator onto the rooftop. I didn't realize until I was gasping for breath that I had been holding it since the elevator climbed past half way.

Spencer casually stepped beside me taking my hand back in his, while setting his other hand on the small of my back, turning me to face him.

"Hey whatever it is, you're okay now, just breathe!" he reassured me until my breathing calmed down.

He didn't question my panic attack, nor did he pry, and when I finally got my bearings back I was blown away by the sight before me.

The rooftop was lit up with white streaming lights, that outlined the four walls. Flower petals covered a red carpet that had been rolled out from the door of the elevator to a table in the center of the floor. Small candles lined the side of the carpet to the same table that was draped with a white table cloth. In the center of the table was a tall candle, as well as a ice bucket holding a bottle of some sort.