Too Broken to Love

29

Spencer's pov

'Congratulations you're pregnant' the words echoing in my mind like a song playing on a continuous loop. A mixture of emotions were going through my body but I never got a chance to think about them. In an instant my worse fears had come back to life.

There was no time to process any of the news as she went completely limp beside me. Her eyes closed and her breathing shallow. Almost on instinct I grabbed her to avoid her falling forward onto the floor.

The doctor called for a nurse as I placed her on the exam table and they worked around her. A short time later the doctor approached me, a concerned look on his face.

"She will be fine but she's going to have to take it easy from now on." He said.
"What is wrong with her? People have babies all the time and don't pass out!" I asked.
"I believe she may be developing pre eclampsia. It is totally manageable, but it has its risks. When she wakes up I'd be happy to go over everything with both of you, until then I can have the nurse bring you some leaflets that explain it a little."

I nodded, still in shock. I sat beside her as she remained in a unconscious state. After a while, I quietly slid my phone out of my pocket and texted Zac.
'Hey can you and Bailey pick up the kids and keep them tonight ... it's a long story but we are still at the doctors, and we are going to need some time to talk about her results!"
I hit send and within a few minutes he replied.
'Sure thing, is she okay?'

I sat looking at her pale features. She was still the most beautiful thing I had seen, even if there were purple circles beneath her eyes. Her breathing was back to normal, but clearly the exhaustion had taken its toll as she remained in a deep sleep on the bed.
'I really hope so!' I responded before putting my phone back in my pocket.

As I watched her my mind began racing with thoughts of how this had happened. Of course I wanted kids with her. I loved her kids more than life itself, and nothing would mean more to me than having a child of my own, especially with her. It's more that I wanted to do this the right way, planned at a time where we both felt ready. I knew she wasn't ready right now, and I knew that regardless of what I wanted the decision would be hers. That simple fact alone terrified me.

I didn't think Averleigh was the type to do anything without concern for someone else, but she had been very vocal about her unwillingness to have anymore children right now. I didn't blame her. She had not long started to really focus on her own dreams, finally putting herself first. It was a conversation that was definitely going to bring us closer together or test us.

I didn't need to think about how it happened. Neither of us were exactly careful when it came to sex. I know I had never thought to use protection, neither had I asked her if she used any form of birth control.

I sat in my thoughts for a while, imagining all the solutions I could think of. The nurse had come in and slipped a leaflet on the table, before checking her vitals again and leaving the room. I glanced at the leaflet unsure of whether or not to actually pick it up, but you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. Well this time I was the cat.

I turned the pages of the leaflet, focusing on the words on the pages. The words that emphasized the real dangers of this condition she could have. The lower risks were swollen feet and hands, low birth weight for the baby, as well as some other minor symptoms, yet the only thing I could truly focus on was the high risk factors, most importantly the part that said it could be life threatening to mother and baby.

I stood up, placing the paper back on the table before walking to the window and staring out into the parking lot of the office. The fear that gripped me was unnerving. Just a short time ago I thought I would loose her forever in a work incident, and now here she was, possibly in a life threatening situation that I had a part in causing.