Zindagi Gulzar hai - Life is a Flower Garden

26 February - Kashaf

I have no idea why Zaroon is so kind to me these days. His behavior is something more than average and such behaviors soon come to light as scandals. After all, he is popular for such matters. His affairs are heard of in the whole college and it will ruin my image. I have no idea how to stop him.

His behavior with me has changed after the day we argued in Sir Abrar's class. The next day he had apologized and it made me happy that he knew he was wrong but my sixth sense alerted me that I should be prepared for some new problem. I don't know much about him but he is very popular. People say that he doesn't even talk to common students much less apologize to them but I am now fed up with him. If he happens to see me anywhere in the college, he doesn't go without greeting me. Even in class he has stopped arguing with me. I am in big trouble because people's sights are centering on me now.

Yesterday Farzana said to me, "Zaroon is so kind with you these days, Kashaf. You two never got along well before."

At first I was shocked but I said as carelessly as I could, "I don't care at all about his kindness, Farzana. If he says anything stupid in class, I will still argue with him. I don't think he is kind to me. I think he behaves like a normal person, he was abnormal before. I never wanted to divide the class into groups but it is what he wants. I only have to spend two years here. The first year is almost finished, the second one will finish too. After I leave I will never have to see any of them again."

 I said what I had to say and walked out of the room. I knew all of this would reach Zaroon because Farzana is one of his group members. I want all of this to reach him because, truth be told, I'm scared of him now. A few days ago, even Sir Abrar asked me why we don't argue like before anymore. At the moment I had hurriedly said to him, "Sir, I would argue with him if we disagreed on something, I don't argue with people without any reason."

I got even more worried thinking that even Sir Abrar had noticed the difference now. If a rumor about us is spread in the college, every one will believe it instantly and I don't want Sir to think badly of me. He is so kind to me that I won't be able to bear his dislike.

Yesterday I got to class late because I had a headache since morning and it had gotten worse after attending two lectures. I thought that if I took some medicine with a cup of tea, I might get better but by the time I came back to the department, Sir Abrar was already present in the class. Sir Abrar never forgives late comers even when it comes to Zaroon. I was worried and contemplating whether to leave, when Sir Abrar saw me standing by the doorway. Maybe seeing my pale face awoke some pity inside him because he said, "Come in Kashaf. You're a bit late today."

He told me to sit and I started looking around for a place. He noticed my problem and said, "Sit here, on the seat by Zaroon." After hearing his words, the little colour I had drained from my face.

"Sir, here?" Sir Abrar looked at me with surprise.

"Yes, here. He's not a devil that will eat you. Please sit down." But after seeing my nervous face, he smiled at me.

"Why are you worried? He is like your brother. Zaroon, give your sister a place to sit."

There were snickers heard throughout the class. Zaroon picked up his books from the chair and I went and sat beside him. During the lecture, my pen stopped working. I dragged it across the page 2-3 times but it still didn't work. Before I could get another pen from my bag, Zaroon placed one on my file. I looked at him with a startled expression but he was busy in taking notes. Without wasting time, I picked up his pen and started writing because Sir Abrar is a fast speaker.

After the lecture I returned the pen with a thanks, but all the while it had been in my hand, I had a strange feeling. The pen was very expensive and wrote beautifully. The words I had written with my ball-point pen seemed cheap compared to the words written with his pen. Just like my life. People like Zaroon can afford such pens, not us. Will there be a time when I'll be able to but a pen like that? Probably not. Because I am not a lucky person and only the people who are lucky get their wishes fulfilled.