Scars (Sequel to Cuts) - Kellic // boyxboy

Chapter Twenty

Vic

I'm mindlessly watching TV on the sofa until two arms wrap around my neck from behind me, startling me.

"G'morning Handsome." Kellin grins, kissing my cheek softly.

He seems to be in a good mood. He's in a good mood more often than not lately. He hasn't stopped smiling for days. And honestly, it's exhausting. His happiness contrasts clearly against my misery which is putting a lot of pressure on me to fake happy.

"Oh, you're prickly." Kellin giggles, rubbing my unshaven cheek.

He then skips off into the kitchen, assumingly to make himself breakfast.

"You get up early this morning and go for a run or something?" he calls.

"Huh?" I hum back confused.

I haven't been anywhere this morning. In fact, I've been on this sofa all night, which seems to be a common occurrence for me.

"You smell sweaty." he laughs.

"Oh." I frown, suddenly becoming aware of my odor.

I can't pinpoint the day I showered last. I keep forgetting. Or when I do remember, I'm too exhausted to get up and go through the whole process.

"Yeah," I call back. It's a lie. The last thing I want to do is worry Kellin and I'd rather not admit the embarrassing fact that my hygiene has been, well, less than hygienic lately.

Kellin soon comes back into the room and sits down next to me. He hands me a steaming mug of coffee and kisses my cheek again.

"Oh, you're so sweet." I swoon, grateful for the gesture.

I take a sip of my much needed coffee then rest my head against Kellin's shoulder, craving his comfort after a long night of self-hatred and self-harm.

"I don't mind this rugged look on you. So sexy." he murmurs, gently touching my thigh.

I smile sadly. There's only so many times I can avoid his advances before he starts to notice that something's off.

"I might go shower." I announce, taking another gulp of my coffee then putting it down.

"Good idea. I love you, but you stink." Kellin chuckles.

I know he's just being playful, but I'm definitely feeling a little sensitive right now.

I kiss Kellin's cheek then leave the room and head upstairs without another word. I find some clothes then go into our ensuite, making sure to lock the door before I start the shower. I look at myself in the mirror as I wait for the water to warm up.

I look almost as bad as I feel. The dark circles under my eyes are so defined and obvious that I'm shocked Kellin hasn't brought them up yet. The dark stubble on my face is bordering on a beard and my hair is noticeably unwashed and untamed.

I unzip my jacket and carefully peel it off my fresh cuts. Then I pull my shirt off over my head. My eyes scan my thin figure, my untoned muscles, my unattractive body. Then I finally look to the cuts that cover my skin. From elbow to wrist on both arms. To say I got carried away would be an understatement. I can barely see the healed scars underneath them. My recovery is a distant memory.

I roll my eyes at my reflection, frustrated with myself. I watch steam begin to cover the mirror which reminds me of what I'm supposed to be doing. I finish getting undressed and then I get into the shower, under the water.

The stream feels good against my back but not my open wounds. I know I need to thoroughly wash my body and my hair but right at this moment I can't bring myself to do anything but stand here.