Scars (Sequel to Cuts) - Kellic // boyxboy

Chapter Thirty-Three

Kellin

A shift in the bed wakes me. I stay anchored to my pillow as I listen to Vic walk out of the room. He's probably just going to get a drink or something.

I nuzzle my head back into the cotton pillowcase and try to coax myself back into sleep. I don't know what time it is but I sense it's late.

I lay patiently waiting for sleep but after a while the empty space next to me where Vic once slept feels like it has been empty for far too long. I lift my head and look around the room, noting that Vic is in fact still not here.

Confused and concerned, I shuffle out from under the warm covers and retrace his footsteps. I see a faint glow from downstairs so I follow it, keeping my feet weightless on the stairs.

I follow the light to the dining room where I find Vic sitting at the dinner table. I'm relieved, but only for a second, as I soon notice the empty pill bottle and the many green pills scattered across the surface of the table.

"Vic, what are you doing?" I ask him alarmed.

He looks up at me with wide eyes then he begins scooping the pills into his hand.

"Nothing." he lies.

I cautiously go take a seat next to him as he frantically puts the pills back into the bottle.

When there's not a single pill left, I snatch the bottle from out of his palm and sit it across the table, away from his reach. Then I gently take his hand in mine. He stares down at the our hands with guilt flushed across his face.

"Did you take any?" I ask him softly.

He shakes his head giving me a small amount of relief. 

"Were you going to?"

He squeezes his eyes shut but a tear escapes and falls off his lash. He doesn't answer my question, but he doesn't have to.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" I ask him softly.

He sniffs and shakes his head.

"No, I just had a moment of weakness. I'm okay." he whispers.

I sigh feeling a little lost, unsure of what to do in this situation. I don't know how to help him.

"You don't seem okay. Talk to me, tell me what's going on." I push, tucking his hair behind his ear so I have view of his solemn face.

He drops my hand and covers his face, shaking his head quickly.

"I can't, Kells. Talking about my feelings, about the bad stuff, it's hard. I can't do it." he chokes out.

I slowly run my hand along his spine, hoping to soothe him temporarily. We sit in silence until I have an idea.

"Wait right here." I whisper.

I stand from the chair and make sure to stash his antidepressants in my sweatpants pocket before I leave his side. I go over to the junk drawer across the kitchen and pull out a piece of paper and a pen. I sit back next to Vic who is watching me curiously.

"In your wedding vows, and in your..." I swallow dryly. "in your note, you were so vulnerable. I think you find it a little easier to write down your feelings. Maybe try that."

I push the paper and pen towards him and he picks the pen up. He stares down at blank paper for a few minutes but then he starts writing.

Soon enough, he slides the paper back over to me. I read his words carefully.

'I feel broken. And it's not your job to fix me. I'm not even sure if I can be fixed. I don't want to be here if I'm just going to bother and upset you. You deserve better than that.'