Silent Memories (Emery Scott)

Chapter Twenty Seven

Emery Scott~

There is something intimate about lying in the arms of someone you love or care deeply for. The sense of security and home? I find myself often thinking that home isn't a place, it's the people that come with it and with Axel he feels like home. I didn't know where this was going to go, are we together now? I keep scolding myself just because we had sex and it was amazing doesn't mean that we are in a relationship. Is that what I even want? Do I want to be in a relationship with Axel? I know that I want him in my life no matter the consequences that follow.

I look down at the peaceful boy that is cuddled into me. His hair perfectly framing his face, his eyebrows knitted together, his breathing becoming faster. Something wasn't right... he was, he was panicking. Axel began to stir in his sleep, the cover was frown from over us exposing our naked bodies. I didn't even realise that we were not dressed. I glanced at my phone to see it was 4am my eyes widening, I have classes a little after 9. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Axel shout.

"Mum no, please mum no don't leave me here" he screamed as sweat rolled off his forehead. He was having a nightmare, I didn't know that he was experiencing these. I think back to the night he told me what happened to his parents and my heart instantly sunk.

"Mum, please I don't want to. You have to fight, please mum" he begged. I moved from our position so that I was straddling Axel I placed my hand on his cheek where I felt his tears rolling.

"Axel, Axel" I called trying to wake him, I could feel the panic rise inside me when he wasn't waking. "Axel, Axel it's me it's Emery I'm here just wake up" I was thrown from off of him but not in a harsh way when he jolted away his breathing so rapid that it was making me out of breath.

"Axel" I whispered I move so that I was close to him again, he didn't speak he just kept trying to calm himself down. I didn't even know what I was doing but I threw my arms around him, moving so that I was straddling him. At first he tried to fight me off but eventually he relaxed into me and held me tight:

"I...I" he tried to say but I silenced him with my lips touching his, the taste of salt from his tears evident on both of our lips. I was just trying to call him but the way he was kissing me back I could tell he needed it, his lips fiercely pushed against mine desperation lacing it. I knew that this is what he needed but I couldn't he was vulnerable. His tongue begged for entrance but I broke our kiss and looked at him in his bloodshot eyes.

"Axel, look at me" I whispered. I knew how the nightmares felt but I never knew he experienced them himself.

"Please don't" he replied pain evident in his voice. "Don't pity me" he croaked his voice so weak that it broke me. It pained me that he was in pain and I couldn't fix it.

"I don't pity you, I could never. But you can't keep this bottled in look what happens" I whisper pointing to myself. "I'm a mess because I didn't share what I was going through" he smiled lightly.

"I think we are both a mess" he replied as he pulled me down so that I was laying on his chest, he remained holding me tight tracing a pattern on my back softly.

"Do you want to talk about it" I asked after a few moments of silence, he took in a sharp breath and I felt a soft nod:

"The nightmares, they begun when I was six.... I tried everything to numb them, I went to therapy, I took tablets and I would do all these exercises to try and stop them but no matter what they wouldn't go... when I met you and you stayed with me that night it was the first night in a long time that I didn't have a nightmare, instead I was able to comfort you with yours. You made them go away, whenever I wasn't around you they would creep their way back in and each time they became more real" he croaked.
"It starts with me in my bed, the sound of crashes and screams echo downstairs, it was my mum and my dad and they were fighting but something wasn't right. I could smell burning. My room had smoke covering it, I crept out of my bed and I walked to the door and that's when I saw my mum. She was crying and coughing and begging me to come with her. I remember her grabbing my hand as we ran through the house just as we go to the door something falls and my mum isn't holding my hand anymore. She screams but I can't see her, she's screaming for me to go, to get out but I wanted to help her. And that's when the explosion happens and the house begins to fall apart and then I woke up" he finished his breath shaky.

"Is that what happened to your family" I asked.

"I I think so; why would I have the nightmares if it didn't happen?" He asked rhetorically. I took a deep breath in and placed a kiss in his bicep.

"Please don't leave me" he begged after a few moments of silence. Something about hearing him say this made me feel like it wasn't because of the nightmares that he was asking that. "No matter what please don't leave" he repeated. I nodded into his arm " I need you to say it" he croaked as he kissed my head still tracing shapes on my skin.

"I am never going to leave you" I whispered as I lifted my head so that I could place a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled softly, I moved from on top of him until I was laying on my side pulling the cover back over us so I was no longer exposed I found myself moving into him the sense of security appearing once again. His arms wrapped around my small body as I felt a kiss to my forehead once more and that was all I remember before darkness crept in.

For the first time in months, there was no nightmares and no fear. I wasn't scared to close my eyes and I wasn't scared to let the darkness consume me, I embraced the need for sleep and I welcomed it.

For the first time since I came to college I felt safe.

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Hello my angels!

I am on a roll with these updates! I hope this makes up for my quietness over the past few weeks. I'm hoping to be more active!

So who's seen AWC? I'm off to watch it for the fourth time today, I am so glad we got it in cinemas in the UK. If we didn't I think I would have a tantrum!

How's everyone liking the movie? I'm gutted roger won't be directing the rest of the films, I love him! He so sweet and funny and I am gonna miss him. What's your thoughts on the new director for after we fell and after ever happy? Castille Landon. I'm both nervous and excited for her, she seems lovely and all so i am gonna give her a chance!

Well what do you think of this chapter? The nightmares the soft side of Axel, who wants to know more about what happened with his family??

Comment what you want to happen next.

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Stay safe,

Love explosion_ aka Kiera xxx