surrender || obikin [COMPLETED]

14.

My mind reeled as I sat in one of the chairs in next to me.

He knows.. He knows he knows he knows...

My core had heated up, and my stomach was fluttering oddly as my mind whirled about. He had been so.. strange. I knew him well enough to know how forward he usually was; If he wanted to ask me, he would have just said something. Anakin wasn't one to beat about the bush... so why was he so flirtatious and strange? I knew he didn't have feelings for me, because I knew he was in love with Padme. In fact, I was fairly certain they were married.

So why? As I puzzled over this, I stood, my knees a little weak from getting so worked up. When my legs had once again remembered how to support me, I breathed in through my nose, and wiped my face of emotion. Composure, regain your composure. I waved the door open, striding out into the hall as several clones walked by, nodding to me as they went.

My heart remained in my throat as I slipped through the halls and headed down to the hangar, thoughts of my body pressed up against Anakin's and his breath, hot on my neck, racing through my brain, playing in a loop which made me dizzier each time I viewed them. I stood, dazed, and jumped when someone spoke next to me.

"Sir? Did you need something?" I looked around me, and saw that I was in the hangar, standing next to the speeder Rex was currently repairing. He looked up at me expectantly, and I shook my head to snap myself to attention, looking down at the clone.

"No, Rex. I apologize- I was thinking about something and I suppose I just wandered over." He nodded, turning back to his work. "Well, if you have anything for me to do, just buzz me." He tapped the comm on his wrist, and looked down warily at the soldering stick in his hand and the wide gash in the side of the speeder. He mumbled something about "General Skywalker.." under his breath.

As I walked from the hangar, I chuckled to myself, not knowing if Rex's comment was because of annoyance at Anakin for breaking the speeder, or if it was in admiration of his ability to fix things with ease.

Anakin appeared in my head again, and I blushed simply at the thought of him knowing of my feelings. Knowing this would change everything, I cursed myself for being so obvious. Maybe it would be better if I had no heart, like Anakin said.

No. Compassion is important- it is the core of the Jedi way- but these feelings, this desire I felt for Anakin was bad. I knew what I felt would not go away easily, for I had tried to wait it out, tried to bury it down, to wait for the storm to pass, and it hadn't worked.

I decided, with reluctance, to try and distance myself from him, and dedicate myself wholly again to the order and to the force, to make myself get over him. Once again, I had allowed myself to wander aimlessly nd paid no attention to where I walked. Pausing outside of Anakin and I's room, I took a deep breath. Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him.

With a wave of the hand, I slid the door open as quietly as I could, stepped into the room, and pulled the sheets back my bed. With glance upwards to the top bunk, I saw that Anakin was sleeping, and released a breath of air. Turning away from him, I pushed my ex-padawan from my mind as I removed my cloak and folded it across my arm.

The air coolant system had been damaged in a recent battle with Greivous' forces, and the ship had become very hot. I peeled off my tunic layers, tugged off my boots, and removed my belt, closing my eyes and sighing as I leaned back against the cool glass, the cold soothing my back and sending a small shiver cascading down my spine.

The moment ended as I suddenly felt someone watching me. My eyes opened, and I noticed Anakin, rolled on his side, watching me with a subtle, observant smirk on his face. I blushed- I was quite underdressed.

Crossing my arms uncomfortably across my chest, I used the force to wrap my cloak around my shoulders, pulling it around me. He just kept staring at me, so I huffed a breath and walked over the sleeping pod. His eyes remained trained on me the entire time, until I disappeared into the pod below him.

I drifted off into an uneasy sleep- my stomach feeling sour as I thought of what the council would say if they found out.