Chapter 11

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The Astronomy Tower was usually closed after curfew, but sometimes lessons would be held at midnight, since it was the best viewing time. When I first attempted getting into the tower it was difficult, considering the Slytherin common room was below ground and the tower was the highest point in the castle. Over the years it got easier, so I'd slip up there by myself to watch the stars. Such a simple activity, but I held it near to my heart.

At first I was hoping Tom would show up, but while looking off the balcony to the starry sky, I was content alone. I sat there for a little soaking in the beauty. Soon I heard footsteps from behind me. Turning around, I saw Tom, and relief shot through me. It seemed I wanted him to be there more than I thought.

I gave him a soft smile, "Tom, you came."

He looked confused, as if he was just as surprised as me he had shown up.

"Come here, look at this constellation.", I said grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the railing. "See there," I pointed towards a group of stars. While he gazed at where I directed I continued running my mouth."The first time I snuck in here was over Christmas break, second year."

He examined me for a second and then asked, "You stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas break?"

"Um, yes." I replied looking away. Changing the subject I said, "You know I really didn't expect you to show up, I'm pleasantly surprised."

"I didn't expect myself to show up either, in fact I don't even know why I did," he responded calmly.

I turned around and leaned against the railing so I could look at him. His dark eyes stared out into the night, he looked peaceful. It was so hard to read him, I could never tell what he was feeling.

I looked back towards the sky. "Tom, I really invited you up here because... I just want you to like me.", I said with a sigh. "You seem so disconnected, so lonely all the time. I try to reach out to you, but every time you turn me down. I don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm really trying my best."

I glanced at him to see his reaction, and he looked back at me. His face softened when his eyes met mine, almost like he was sad.

"There..." he stopped himself but shortly continued, "There's nothing wrong with you.", he murmured.

I could feel my face get hot, did he actually just say that? I got closer to him and took his hands in mine. He pulled away but I knew he didn't want to.

"Tom please.", I said, "Let me be there for you, not as a follower, as a friend."

He turned back towards me. "I can see it Tom, you want to let me in."

"No, I can't! I mean, I don't want to. I don't need anyone.", he replied sounding frustrated, not with me, but with himself.

Caught in the moment, I made a bold move. I had no idea how he was going to take it. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, resting my head on his shoulder. He froze at first, but then he put his arms around me and held me tight. I felt small surrounded by him. Somehow this person I had been so intimidated by gave me a sense of safety. The moment didn't last very long though. Tom had snapped back to his usual self and pulled away.

"I have to go.", he said coldly.

With that he left, and our moment was over as soon as it started.

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