Change of Perspective (TodoBaku)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Bakugo's POV:

This past month has been actual ass. I've been too tired and weak to do anything on my own, so I've been relying on Todoroki for everything. Getting up, getting ready, getting dressed, going to the restroom(he just walks me there), making breakfast, going to my room, making lunch, doing downstairs, eating dinner. Just everything.

I feel bad. It's taking a toll on my mental health too. It's making me feel weak. I can't do anything for myself. Todoroki gives me small wins. Like walking out of the elevator on my own. Letting me prepare food. Little things like that. I know he's trying for me, and I'm just being a dick. I appreciate him, I really really do. But, I hate this. Not being able to do anything. I feel like he feels forced to help me out since I can't function correctly. I'm tired all the time, meaning I sleep a lot. Because I'm asleep all the time, I really don't do anything. Just lie in bed cause I'm too exhausted to leave. When Todoroki comes, he helps me do all the stuff I wanted to do on my own but couldn't.

Aizawa says tgetes progress in my case. They might have my parents locked up before summer. It's relieving, but so stressful at the same time. I feel terrible. Almost every time I fall asleep, I dream about them getting out and coming for me. Taking me away from a life where I'm happy. I'm not happy yet, but in the dream, that's how I start off. I'm happy, either with Aizawa and Mic, or Kaminari and Halfie, sometimes with all of them. Then as me and Halfie are walking back to the dorms, my parents come out of a dark alley and knock him out.

Sometimes Kaminari is with us, so he's hit too. Then they take me into the alley with them and start tying me up and tearing me down. Saying horrible things. Then there's a weird substance filling my lungs and I can't breathe. I always wake up when I run out of air, gasping.

I don't know if Halfie knows. I don't want to tell him yet, but I've told Aizawa. I told him not to tell Halfie. He said he wouldn't, and we've been okay. It's actually nice talking to Aizawa though. He's gonna be my new guardian. It's not like he wasn't before, but it'll be finalized. Real.

I've been able to talk to him. I feel like I can talk to him. It doesn't feel forced. Sometimes when I'm talking to him, I get nervous about telling him what's ony mind, but he always reassures me. Always let's me know that he cares. I hate myself for being nervous about telling him. About keeping stuff from. The people around me.

Kaminari's brother's suicide attempt anniversary is next week. He's already closing up. He tries. He's been trying so hard. I don't think Kirishima knows yet.

Taking care of my cat has been easy. She's really close to me already. She's always by my side. She comforts me when Todoroki or Kaminari can't. I mean, the others come visit me sometimes, but I think they just don't want to deal with me. It a horrible thing to think, but even my parents were tired of me. I'm just paranoid, but I can't help it. I can't help but think that they're all going to get tired of me. My dad's words ringing in my head when my thoughts get too much.

Why couldn't I just have a normal life? With a loving family. A normal mind. My friends are great. My boyfriend is amazing. Then again, if I didn't have a horrible life, I'd never get Half'n'Half as my boyfriend. Or maybe I would. In a healthier way.

I wouldn't be an asshole maybe.

I don't know. I just- I don't even know. I'm just lost.

How am I gonna get back up on my feet? Will I slip up again? Will I fall down that dark hole? Will my happy future be ripped away from me before I even get a taste?

I cover my face with my hands in frustration. No, I need to stop thinking. I slam my hands onto my face. "No. I can't," I say to my empty room. There's a small meow and I sit up slowly. Oroka is lying right next to my leg. When I look at her, she turns to look at me and meows with her ugly smushed face. I lover her so much. Her eyes are two different colors. Having a left blue eye like Halfie. She has dark colored fur at the bottom, making it look like she has socks on.