Change of Perspective (TodoBaku)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Katsuki's POV:

The week passed by like nobody's business, and I'm so anxious about getting back to class. I keep staring up at my ceiling thinking about it. I don't know why, I live at school, but class? I just can't breathe thinking about it. It's like a weight that constantly bothers me. I'm being ridiculous, I really am.

"Meow."

I blink at look at Oroka who's seated on my chest, looking at me. She lies down and nuzzles her nose under my chin. I let her gently as I peek at my alarm clock. It's 4 am on Friday. I don't even have to go back until Monday. I need to calm down.

What if they all crowd me? They could've done so here in the dorms, but I'm always in my room. When I wasn't in my room, I was being carried by Halfie or Dunce Face downstairs just to eat before going right back upstairs. They might've been so weirded out by that. They never had a chance to ask me questions. In class though, I'm out of my safe space. I won't be carried around by anyone. I'll be out in the open, exposed.

I can't.

I take that cat off of me and stand up quickly. I breathe shakily as I pace the room, cat meowing at me. I shake my hands hard, trying to get rid of the nerves as I bite the inside of my cheeks. "Calm down. Just calm down."

I was legit being carried by my boyfriend and friend to EAT. Of course they'll have questions. Mr. Aizawa coming twice a week, Recovery Girl coming in constantly. Me being bruised from head to toe, not being able to do anything on my own. What a sight that must've been.

"Oh my god, no," I say out loud. I can't handle it. I really can't. What would I tell them? What's convincing?

"Wait."

Everything stops.

I have people to back me up. If others come to bother me, I have people to help me out. To get me out of the situation.

I take a deep breath and let it out shakily. Okay. I'm okay. I look back at the cat and she meows once again. I look over at her food and water bowl to see that they're both almost full. I guess she just wants attention.

I walk back over to the bed and lift her up, lying down before resting her back into my chest. I pet her gently and she purrs, making the once silent room, somewhat bearable.

"I'm pretty messed up, huh?" I ask her. I get a meow in response and laugh. "Yeah, I knew it. You think anyone really like me?" She's silent. "Ha, I bet you don't even like me," I say and she meows. "Oh? I knew it. It's probably cause I'm a crazy person talking to a cat who only responds with 'meow' right?" She doesn't react at all and I shift my head to see her face only to find out she fell asleep. I sigh up at the ceiling. "I guess I'm boring too."

I look back at my clock and the red numbers stare back at me as if to mock me. Saying 'ha, you've been having a panic attack and talking to your cat for an hour and a half'. I roll my eyes at it and feel myself tear up. Dude am I serious? I don't wanna cry. What am I even gonna cry about? Nothing! Argh.

I stretch my arm out, palm up and hanging off the bed. I allow the pent up frustration to get to me and a few small explosions occur. I watch as it happens. It's not really anything at all, hell the vat just looks at them. They're not loud, thankfully.

I kind of wish that Todoroki wakes up and comes to my room, but that's a little selfish. He deserves the rest. He has school in a few hours. He's been taking care of me when he shouldn't have to. A relationship isn't supposed to be one person depending on the other, it should be us working together. He's been putting in way more than he needs to. I hate myself so much for letting him help me out so much. I just couldn't believe that I actually had someone there for me. I wanted to see what it was like and how much the other person would actually care for me. Todoroki seems like a tough nut to crack. I'm not trying to wear him down, hell no, that's just messed up. I do my best to try and make things easier for him, well, as easy as things that he helps me with can be. It's not easy to worry for someone else 24/7. It's probably exhausting for him.