Change of Perspective (TodoBaku)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Katsuki's POV:

Kaminari wanted to watch sad movies all day, so right now we're currently watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I made some chocolate for us earlier and we're eating that now. It's actually pretty good chocolate if you ask me.

This is our 3rd movie of the day. Todoroki was going to come by for lunch after the 2nd movie, but I told him that it was okay that he hung out with his friends. I should call Mr. Aizawa after this movie to ask him about going out tomorrow. We need to sign the forms. I actually haven't been out of campus since I got here after the hospital. I didn't even help the others move my stuff into my dorm room. I mean, I couldn't physically. Hell, who am I kidding? I probably couldn't even help them if I was in top physical condition.

Kami is laying his head on my lap. He's been crying non stop. I actually don't know if this movie was a good idea. He said it helped him cry it out.

I pet his hair and he continues crying. His legs are curled up into his chest, and he has a blanket draped over himself tightly, as if trying to protect himself from the world. We haven't eaten anything but junk food today. I'll probably make us some grilled chicken over steamed vegetables for dinner. That's the least I can do.

Once the movie ends, he sits up, grabbing the box of tissues on the table. He blows his nose and uses multiple tissues. "Sorry," he rasps out. "Come here," I say, opening my arms for him. I hate him being so sad. He's my best friend and he's helped me through so much. He looks at me and immediately throws himself into my arms. I didn't even get a chance to look at his face.

The stuffed animal that Kirishima lent Kaminari is squished between us. I feel his body shake as sobs leave his mouth and get muffled into my chest.

"You wanna talk about it?" I ask

He pulls away and gasps brokenly for air. He sobs into his hands and reaches for tissues. He blows his nose a couple of times and tries to settle himself down. "Hey listen," I tell him as I rest an arm on his shoulder. "Deep breaths. Don't hurt yourself okay?" I ask worriedly. He nods and straightens himself out. He clears his throat and works on controlling his sobs, which absolutely break my heart.

"H-he's never gonna be okay. He's trapped inside that hospital. He tried to kill himself. Just like you. Please, Bakugo. Please don't do that again. I can't-" He clenches his hand over his chest. "I can't. I can't. I can't," he repeats over and over before he starts slamming his fist into his chest. My eyes widen as I watch. What the hell.

"Hey hey Kami no," I say and grab his hands. He stops immediately and looks up at me, completely shocked. As if he didn't know what he was just doing. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I won't do it again," he sobs out. He cluches himself and starts rocking back and forth. "Stop. I need to stop," he whispers to himself. I grab him and hug him tightly, rocking back and forth with him.

"Kami you're okay. Please just calm down. You're scaring me," I say, voice obviously full of worry. Is this what I do? Do I freak them out like this too?

What do I do for Kami?

I grab him and pull him closer, squeezing him way tighter and he stops, completely loosening up and relaxing. He's still crying, but it's less intense. I'm rocking him back and forth and I rub his back. I honestly don't know what else to do.

"I won't try to do that again. I promise. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm here now," I whisper. He nods into my shoulder and I look over at the time. Lunch is over already.

"Hey, what happened?"

"I just can't stop thinking- no seeing him there hanging. His body- I- it was twitching and his face and neck were so purple. I ran. I ran to get scissors to cut him down. I'd never moved so fast. And then when I was trying to get the ropes off, he was trying to push me away. I saw the look on his eyes. He showed pure hatred towards me for saving him. H-" He gasps.