the strawberry dress | harry styles

23: depression at its finest

tw sucidal thoughts

i'd been doing fine for a while but then life was getting a bit too much. i didn't know how to tell harry - but he noticed. i'd cry myself to sleep every night and he'd hear me in my room whenever i said i wanted to sleep alone and comfort me. then i'd fall asleep in his arms and wake up to see him sleeping beside me, holding me close.

"harry" it was the evening. harry was reading a book and spotted me. i'd been crying a lot again.
"what's wrong love?" he asked sadly, putting his book down.
"um" i sidled over to him and sat next to him and he immediately put his arms round me.
"life. its just too much right now. being alive is too much- wait, no don't worry i'm not gonna do anything please don't worry. im so sorry" i started crying again.
"darling, you dont need to be sorry for how you feel. whats up?"
"I just.. i-i feel like such a disappointment a-and i cant do anything right? And i-i just hate myself and feel like a burden and i always feel so alone...which is stupid because i have you a-and zayn...i dont know why i feel like this"
"love, im sorry you feel this way" he looked so sad - he was really bad in these situations.
"a-and i know you aren't good with these situations" i sniffled. "but i thought to tell you. cause y'know...you could tell i was sad"
"well im glad you told me. and i'll do whatever i can to help you. now...give me a hug"

we held each other for ages.
"you arent any of those things baby. you're wonderful" he mumbled into my hair
I sniffled and pulled away slightly, gazing into his gorgeous green eyes.
"Do i look funny when i cry?"
harry burst out laughing. "you look very cute darling"