The things I'd like to say

~

I surrounded myself with people,
and most of them are fake.
who am I kidding they are fake.

Take my dream,
fake my smile,
rake the lawn for food.

I long for someone to understand me on many levels.

"Cry to your life content and you'll only waste more time that you could use to prove them wrong"

I think people look up to me,
but for what?
that I don't know.

I looked up to many,
and some locked me up,
Fuck those who did.

Fuck the woman who gave life to me,
if she didn't want me like she said,
then why the fuck did she keep me in the shitty place called womb?

Fuck those who laughed at me because they used their slang that I should know,
Fuck those four girls who used me for amusement,
Fuck me yeah fuck you too Michael
Fuck God you were never there when I called out or at anytime,
Fuck the fates I get it you use me to entertain you,
Fuck those who think I'm just saying this so I can get views and votes and pity,
Fuck those who called me weak,
Fuck those who called me a circus,
Fuck those who called me insane,
Fuck those who dared to cross the line,
Fuck the fake tan on the TV,
Fuck the government you never really help me just made it worse,
Fuck the people with a pride never seeing those who put the food on the table,
Fuck the airheads who think they are kings or queens.
Fuck the reasons I'm still alive.
Fuck the poverty that slowly follows me,
Fuck the riches that will come to me later on,
Fuck the fame that I might get but don't want,
Fuck the paparazzi why you put that nose in the business and don't say the good things in them,
Fuck the big brother I have,
you two should've stood for me when you could why are you looking and asking for me now? you two never gave a damn two years ago about me. 
Fuck the lies why do they exist?

I surround myself with fakes and truths,
I surround myself with people such as those who rip me apart
I surround myself with people who care.

Do you?

Do I keep saying lies?
Do I speak the truth?

That is for you to decide.

Do I harm willingly?
Never want to.
Do I care for others?
If they don't plan to stab me in the back.

Would I stab?
...depends

Could I love?
...Can you?

Do I care if I die?
Who ever does?

Why do I talk to you?
Because you are nothing without me.

I'm nothing but a voice in the sea.