The things I'd like to say

. . .

I've been gone,
searching for something to hang on to besides the fake worlds in books,
And I found a girl,
loving and unexpected,
curious and uncontainable,
open but yet there's a space closed,
light but a shadow within the blinding smile.

So I've been busy...
Ask me why and I'll consider telling you.
But don't ask how cause I don't know.
Resilient is me.
Informed I shall be.
Nonchalant I feel sometimes.
Appreciated I am...

Running I've done,
time to have fun.
Usually, I would have her at my knees,
but she has me on mine and she's fishing me out.
Normally I wouldn't be groveling but I am,
she pulled and weaved me into her blanket,
and I'm begging for mercy and to not lose her.

Been a long while since I've been like that,
she strikes happiness with the tiniest hint of fear,
Ever since I came across her..
Not used to what she brought out in me.
I'm kinda scared,
but love does come with a price.
Going to pay it myself to stay with her,
Student debt can come later.

Now can I get those arms with a "Hey" around my neck?

All relationships have their hardships,
we overcame them.
Let me be honest,
as much as she seems like a goddess,
she also hides in the dark.
Well I'm looking towards her darker shades,
can't show only the good parts,
I learned that the hard way a couple of times.
Allusions I have when we talk,
call me crazy,
but when we talk I feel like she's actually right next to me.
Yearning for comfort that I couldn't get back then,
but possible with time, patience, and effort.

I still can't believe how far we walked with this,
I doubt I will before I even realize you're taking me to the deep end.
Drive me off the deep end,
drown me in this intoxicating drug known as love, 
touch me like you want to,
cook me like you want to,
dream of me like you want to.

Bend me to your hands,
fantasize all you want,
Did I go too far?

You did first,
I'm just filing the tank again,
sorry not sorry,
M.