Better than me.[bowers gang]

Chapter eleven: morning, loser

(Art work is not mine, click to see full)
•WARNING: VULGAR LANGUAGE AND GUN VIOLENCE•

Henry's breath was stolen from his lungs, he could finally feel the colors he couldn't before. The boy began to smile as more tears fell, he realized he wanted this.. that it was okay. They gazed into each other's eyes as the smiles upon their faces stayed, everything felt okay. "I promise you that this will stay our secret.. you mean everything to me." Patrick talked in a soft tone. "pinkie promise..?" Henry questioned as he raised his hand up slightly in front of his chest. "pinkie promise." The two boys locked pinkies and left it at that. For the rest of the night they talked about life and past memories as they laid on the floor of the van. Henry turned onto his side to face the boy he admired greatly, staring was a habit for Henry. He just couldn't help it, he always had Patrick on his mind even if it was only for a few seconds that he realized. Henry felt like he was floating.. that dumb flustered smile still spread across his face. He was.. happy. He let out a small happy sigh and another glance at his best friend. Patrick turned his head slightly to look at Henry, "whatcha staring for?" He breathed with a light smile. "I'm not staring..! I just glanced for a second.." Henry defended. "I could see you, no need to lie to me, love." Patrick laughed a bit. "you can be honest with me, henry.." he continued on as he turned onto his side to face him now. "I know you've got some more things on your mind.." "well maybe I do.. but it doesn't matter right now..!" Henry tried his best not to blush and turn into a nervous wreck, he got nervous anytime Patrick held eye contact for a while. It just made Henry get butterflies in his stomach, the ones that make you gasp for air even when your lungs are full. "It matters to me.. tell me.. you'll feel better.." "..." silence from Henry. Patrick continued to gaze into his blue eyes, he could see the hurt behind his eyes but didn't mention it. "I promise it'll stay between us.. what happens when we're alone.. stays that way. It doesn't leave." Patrick reassured him. Henry let out a small sigh again and went on. "okay okay.. well.. I.. I just think you look really nice.. and..-" Henry stopped himself. "and..?" "..and uh.. I don't really know.." Henry dragged out the sentence and avoided it. His eyes kept closing and opening as he was trying to keep himself awake. "you need rest.. it's probably 4 or 5am by now.. I won't bother you anymore, get sleep. If you need me I'm right next to you.." his tone was softer, why was patrick being so sweet? is this normal? "can you hold my hand..? it'll help me fall asleep.." mumbled Henry. "of course I can.." Patrick grabbed the boys hand slowly and their fingers locked in the gaps between each other's fingers. "now.. get some rest, love.."

Henry drifted off soon after they held hands, he began to have a dream.. well more like a nightmare to him.

~nightmare~

"HEY, ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO ME? HELLO?" The man yelled at him as the cold barrel of the gun pressed against his temple. "I'LL BLOW YOUR GOD DAMN BRAINS OUT IF YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT YOU DID WITH HIM." The tears only ran faster down Henry's face, he was caught. He was dead. He was about to be. Butch placed his finger on the trigger "god damn it boy.. tell me what you did." "N..NO! I WOULD RATHER DIE THEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING ASS MAKING ME FEEL WORTHLESS. FUCK YOU. YOURE NOT MY FATHER.. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?? WHO THE HELL HURT YOU?? AM I JUST A BURDEN?? DID I RUIN YOUR LIFE? HUH??" Henry screamed at his father. "IM TIRED OF YOU. IF YOU SHOT ME ITD BE BETTER THAN LIVING IN THIS HELL HOLE OF AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD. IT WOULD BE BETTER THEN THE COUNTLESS TIMES YOUVE PUNCHED ME SO HARD I HAD A LIMP THE NEXT DAY, IT WOULD BE FUCKING BETTER THAN HAVING TO LIVE WITH THE FACT MOM LEFT. AND ITS BETTER THAN LIVING WITH THE GUILT YOUVE PUT UPON ME, WHEN IM JUST FUCKING FINE. YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT AND YOU RAISED ME TERRIBLY YOU DI-" silence. All for everything but the sound of a gun firing and a teenage body hitting the floor.

~nightmare over~

Henry sat up quickly in a panic, his heavy breathing and tears picked up almost right away. He looked around himself frantically, he was okay, Patrick was passed out next to him and all else was where it was when they left it. "It was just a dream.. just a dream Henry.. it's okay.. don't freak yourself out.." he whispered to himself. He took in deep breaths as the few tears spilled down his cheeks slowly, he calmed himself down but needed more moral support. He cuddled himself up next to Patrick, hopefully he won't mind. Patrick laid upon his back, asleep. Henry slowly laid his head down on Patrick's shoulder, "if only he knew how much I liked him.. but it won't matter later. None of this will.." the boy thought to himself, his thoughts turned negative and he kept doubting that this was more than just a make out session. "was he using me..?" Henry thought to himself. "he wouldn't do that.. he was crying.. I don't know what I'm saying to myself, I'll just go back to bed.." Henry kept himself close to Patrick, he felt safe. The sun started to rise not long after Henry fell back asleep, hopefully butch wouldn't be too mad at him. A few hours go by into the day before the boys start waking up, Patrick was the first. He opened his eyes slowly and turned his head to the side a bit, glancing at the boy who laid next to him. He checked his watch, it was around 2pm. They had a fun time last night so it was worth it, as long as Henry was safe. If it meant they had to skip school they would, they didn't care. Patrick decided not to move but to let henry get more rest, he puts an arm around Henry and pulls him a bit closer. Patrick was protective over Henry, anytime someone made a joke Patrick was right into the conversation. If Henry wasn't in the car yet, he'd ask. "Where's Henry?? Did he get detention again?! great, what'd he do this time??" He would never go anywhere without knowing where Henry was first, people always assumed for them to have something more than just best friends. And no one took it kindly. Everyone got silent after the incident with Eddie kaspbrak.. everyone kept poking and prodding at Henry that he was clearly hooking up with Patrick which made him snap. It wasn't even true then, but.. well now it is. Henry flipped out and nearly broke eddies arm, he backed off after one of the kids chucked a rock at him and made him black out. Patrick was infuriated for that whole month of torture, he hated seeing Henry mad like that. About an hour later, Henry begins to wake up. His eyes still kinda burned from the crying beforehand but he didn't complain. "good morning.. dumbass" Patrick teased him. Henry sat up and stretched his arms into the air above his head. "Morning, loser." He said with a yawn to follow. "What time is it even?" Henry contented. He pushed himself up against the wall of the van and used it to lean on. He checks his watch, "it's about 3:30ish." Concluded Patrick. "God damn.. really?? I've never slept this late. Vic and Belch are probably looking for us right now since we.. obviously ditched and slept all day." "I'm sure they'll drive by one of our houses soon, we can always go sit on my front lawn if you wanna wait for 'em." He suggested. "I'm fine with that, can we have a smoke break too..? Kinda need one." Henry said groggily, still half asleep. "sure, babe." Patrick teased him again. "shut it hockstetter. Don't cross that line. I'll gladly carve my whole god damn name into your stomach." Fumed Henry as he slid open the van door and stepped out. "I think sometimes the dumbass forgets I have a knife kink." Patrick talked to himself quietly. He followed Henry out of the van and he pulled the cigarettes out of his pocket again, following Henry down the driveway and to the sidewalk. He sat down on the curb and pulled a cigarette out of the small box. Henry seated himself down next to Patrick and took the cigarette, "got the lighter?" Henry asked. Patrick felt around his pockets and found nothing, "shit." He sighed. "I left it in the van I'll be right back." He stood up off of the curb and lightly jogged back up to the garage towards the van. Henry bounced one of his legs nervously, he wasn't nervous well maybe a bit but that was because he was with Patrick. His heart rate always skyrocketed a bit with him. The sound of a speeding car and faint metal music pushed away Henry's thoughts, he stood up and squinted at the car driving down the road. As it approaches closer, there's victor halfway out the window. "HIIIII HENRYYYYYY" he screamed with a laugh to follow. Belch pulled the car up towards the curb and turned down the radio a bit so he could hear Henry talk. he stood up and took a step closer to the car, he placed his forearm onto the place where the window would be if it was rolled up. "Where were you and Patrick today?? I didn't see you at all." Inquired Belch. "We ditched, I'm waiting for the tall fucker to get back with his lighter so we can smoke our cigs." "Funny you talk about him..-" victor chimed in and tilted his head towards the way Patrick was. The tall boy had found a hairspray can in the garage, "HAH! HAHA! GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" He shook the hairspray can and flicked open the zippo, he sprayed the hairspray near the small flame and ended up making a homemade flamethrower. Was it smart? Not really. Was Patrick smart? Also not really. "HENRY YOURE NOT LOOKING, LOOK!" Patrick begged. Henry rolled his eyes and slowly turned around, now looking at him. "HEY ITS COOL OKAY?! DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.!" Patrick was talking loudly as belch, Victor, and Henry all gave him the same "what the hell" look. "is he- is he mentally stable or-" victor whispered to Henry. "Not a chance."