Who Killed Lana?// Ryland Storms

• l o n e l i n e s s •

3rd February 2022

"Hey, today we will go to take Ryland from rehabilitation." said Kio to me.

"What a fascinating new!" Bryce rolled his eyes. "So she can turn back to her home."

  "Why do you want me to leave?" I asked.

"Why would I want you to stay? Do you really think I want to live with my ex?" he said.

  "But you were dreaming about living with Lana. She is your ex either." I tried to push him.

  "How dare you can compare yourself with Lana!" he yelled.

  "Why are you so obsessed with Lana?" I yelled.

  "Don't call it obsession again." he came closer to me. "I loved more than anyone could love."

  "Fine!" I yelled and went to my room. I closed the door and collapsed on my bed started to cry.

  Heard a knock on my door. "Fuck off!" I yelled.

Kio came in and made one of his cute faces. "Do you still want me to fuck off?"

"Yes." I said.

He closed the door and sat on my bed. "Why are you running from me?" he asked.

  "I'm not." I lied.

"No you're running from me. We barely speak for last 6 days." he said.

  "Didn't even realize."

"No miss Easterling, you have to tell me why are you running from me." he said and started to tickle me.

I layed on the bed and he went on top. "Tell me why are you running from me?"

His face was to close to mine. I was trying my best to not lean him for a kiss. I didn't answer his question.

"Did I something wrong?" he asked.

"No." I said. "Actually you're doing everything perfectly."

"Then why are you running from me?" he asked again.

"Because you're bad for me, okay?" I said. "I thought we could be friends but I can't. I was wrong, we can't be friends. Now let me go."

He get off of me and looked my face. "I'm sorry for trying to be friends with you." He left the room.

I cried when he left.

I cried so hard.

I cried till no tears left.

And I hated love.

I hated myself cause there is 8 billion people in the world and I fell in love with my sisters lover.

  I looked at my reflection. Why am I crying? What's wrong with me? What happened to me?

  I saw a photo of my childhood hanging in the corner of mirror.

  I'm not the same girl with her.

I was, but then my sister died and took me to the grave with her.

I don't know who am I now.

I used to be a classic popular girl, who has a lot of friends and all she cares about is her hair, makeup and dress but now I became someone different.

When you start thinking about what your life was like 10 years ago--and not in general terms, but in highly specific detail--it's disturbing to realize how certain elements of your being are completely dead. They die long before you do. It's astonishing to consider all the things from your past that used to happen all the time but never happen anymore, and never even cross your mind. It's almost like those things didn't happen. Or maybe it seems like they just happened to someone else. To someone you don't really know. To someone you just hung out with for one night, and now you can't even remember her name.

If you have told me I would be this miserable 10 years ago I'd just laugh.

If you have told me my sister would die 10 years ago I'd say "Shut the fuck up, we born on the same day, we'll die on the same day."

If you have told me I'd become lonely I would say "No way, I have like fifty thousands of friends, I'd never be lonely."

But here I am.

All my friends are gone.

And there is only one person I feel close to myself but there is no way me ending with him.

God, wish you have taken my life instead of Lana...