Draco Malfoy, Broken

Chapter 76 - Walls

Chapter 76 – Walls

Published: October 15th, 2020

Draco didn't want to open his eyes. Harry's arms were still around him, but he could feel by the slight tremor that he was awake. Harry will want to talk about it and feel guilty about it. But Draco just wanted to forget it. Last night, it had caught him off-guard. The pit had never latched onto him so much while Harry was there. They had done other stuff without any issue. Why did last night go so deep? He just wanted to get over this. He just wanted everything to be okay, to not hurt. Was that too much to ask for?

Yeah, his mind responded. It is too much to ask. You are meant to suffer! Wa ha ha ha!

Fuck you, he responded back.

"Draco? I know you're awake," Harry whispered.

What? Did you hear me arguing with myself? Draco thought, but didn't say anything. He wanted to build up his mental walls more.

"Draco... please. I just want to know if you are okay," he pleaded.

Fuck, Draco swore. He wondered if Harry had slept at all with that worry on his mind. He turned to face him. "I'm okay, Harry. I'm sorry you were worried."

"That I was worried? Draco... you almost...."

"Yeah, I almost. I'm fine. I didn't expect it to hurt so much," he lied. "You didn't do anything."

"Draco..." Harry started.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine, see? Look into my eyes. I'm not locked in my head. Please just... calm down and forget about it."

Harry's tearful eyes stared at him, and Draco thanked Merlin... and Snape, that Harry never learned Occlumency properly. His loosely constructed wall was barely holding.

"I'm fine, now. Please don't carry the weight of it around. You did nothing wrong."

"I hurt you," Harry said. "You were crying last night.

Shit, he thought. "It hurt a little, but it wasn't... it just felt weird." But he didn't know what to say. Other people hurt me. Other people took away my innocence. I let them do whatever they wanted. I didn't fight it. He sucked in a breath, and Harry's hands grabbed his. He wrenched it away and got out of bed. Run and hide, he told himself.

"I'm going to shower. Don't worry about me," he said, going to his wardrobe to grab clothes then the loo.

He couldn't look at Harry anymore. Fuck, how was he going to get out of this? Harry won't let it go. He'll either be curious or guilty. Think... what can I tell him? he debated as he showered. Ignore it and hope he drops it was his best bet. Maybe a blow job while he was at it. Show him that nothing is wrong, that was key. Deny anything happened. He got out of the shower and dried off. Harry was going to be right outside the door. He brushed his hair and took a long time doing it, delaying the evitable. He opened the door.

Harry's eyes went to him immediately. He looked at him like someone had died and then lowered his head, guilt-ridden.

Draco took a deep breath and kicked down his emotions. "Harry. I'm fine, damn it. Look at me!" Harry looked up. "Stop it. You did nothing wrong. See, I'm fine. You don't need to blame yourself for everything. I'm sorry that I responded so badly like that."

"You don't have to apologize, Draco!" Harry said, quickly.

"Neither do you, Harry! I love you. I trust you. Please, don't blame yourself. You remember what I told you before? That even if you did hurt me, I'd forgive you, because we both know that you didn't intend to hurt me. But, if you need me to say it, I forgive you."