Building the Tension | ✔ | 18+

Chapter 3c

The dream ended abruptly and I sat up in my bed in my dorm room. I looked over at the clock. Just a few minutes after two o'clock. Dimitri's security shift would have just gotten over.

I knew I had to talk to him. I got out of the bed, not knowing how I was going to get there or what I was going to do when I got there. The entire campus was still on daylight hours and only guardians were allowed to be patrolling the area after dark.

I went over to my closet and pulled out my guardian dress uniform that I'd gotten during the trial. I looked it over. It was a little wrinkled, there was a stain on one of the lapels, and I managed to shrink it a little when I tried to wash it, but it would still work. I put it on, taking a minute to swap out my normal black bra for a snug white lace one to minimize the buttons pulling apart at the chest.

I started to put up my hair, like I had in the Dashkov trial, when I realized that none of the few female promised guardians on campus that I'd seen had long hair. I would have to hide it. I pulled the jacket off and tucked my hair into the back. It would be too warm and maybe a little uncomfortable, but it would be good enough to get me in and out of the building without attracting any notice.

The hallways and campus were completely clear, with the exception of one guardian I saw patrolling a couple of hundred yards away from me. Since we were currently on human time, the cover of darkness made me harder to identify. I ventured over to the staff wing of the dorms, going right to the same door I had gone to in my dreams a hundred times.

I knocked once. I waited a moment. No answer.

I knocked again, a few more times and louder. I gave it a couple more seconds. I was starting to sweat in the layers of long sleeves with my hair tucked in. "Shit," I said to myself, "He's not here." I started to turn around, when the door opened a crack and Dimitri poked his head out, hair even more wet than I had seen it the last time I was here.

"You?" he exclaimed.

"We need to talk," I said, "Now."

"You're not supposed to be here. For a lot of reasons. And it's not the best time."

"Tough, Comrade, I have to talk to you now. Now, let me in before I get caught out here," I said. Dimitri opened up the door and I stood there stunned for a moment. He was wearing nothing but a towel, trails of water still dripping down his exquisite, chiseled chest. I looked at him, wanting nothing more than to kiss away those beautiful drips of water and pull off that towel.

"Well?" he asked, "You said you had to come in, so come in, before you get us both in a lot of trouble."

I shook off whatever I was thinking, walked in to his apartment, and immediately took off the jacket, letting my hair out and getting rid of the extra layer. Dimitri pulled out a desk chair for me and went into the kitchenette to stand behind the counter. I couldn't bring myself to sit down, but I placed the jacket on the back of the chair and took a moment to stretch the kinks out of my back.

"Is this real? Or is this a dream?" Dimitri asked, eyes falling to the puckering gap in the front of my shirt buttons. I felt myself blushing a little as I saw where his eyes had gone, but tried to ignore it.

"Aaannndd, that is part of what we need to talk about," I began, "I had an interesting little talk with Adrian Ivashkov about you and your dreams tonight."

Dimitri's face suddenly turned horrified, "What did he tell you?"

"We'll get to that in a minute. But first, we need to talk about you not wanting me to fight today."

Dimitri's reasonable mask dropped to reveal sternness. "Rose, what you did was reckless; swooping in to save Castile like that."

I shot back at him, "And if I hadn't, he'd be dead right now. Or worse."

"I can't have you risking yourself like that, Rose."

"I'm sorry if you don't think I'm good enough," I said, "I try so hard to prove myself to you! Why do I even bother?"

"Rose, it's not that you're not good enough. You just take risks. Too many risks. I can't be around when you're doing that."

"Because I'm going to get us both killed?" I asked, "That's why you don't want to be my partner guarding Lissa, right?"

"No, Rose, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"I don't want to see you die," Dimitri replied, "I can't watch you die."

Shocked, I blurted out, "That was one of the things Adrian told me you dreamt about."

"What else did he say?"

I closed my eyes, swallowed, and then pushed forward, saying, "That you were having the same dream I was. A lot."

"Oh?" he asked, switching from stern to that same stoic face he always makes when he is trying to hide his feelings.

"Except mine was different. Because I told you that I'm in love with you and begged and pleaded with you not to take the necklace off."

Dimitri's audible intake of breath was so swift that it almost caught me off guard. "Rose, what are you saying?"

"I know it's wrong," I said, "I know there are so many reasons we shouldn't be together. But I've never loved anyone the way that I feel about you."

"Roza, I can't give you the things you need. I don't have money. I don't have influence. I don't even have time to spend with you. If we were guarding together, we would either be near guard and far guard or trading off shifts. And I can't protect Lissa like you'd want me to if she's with you." Dimitri moved out of the kitchenette to stand in front of me.

"Dimitri, I said that I love you," I said, "I'm not hearing that you don't love me, too."

"Because I can't say that, Roza. But I can't be what you need."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what I need, Dimitri? Because right now, all I need is you."

--

Author's Notes:

Question of the week: What is your typical preferred reading media for books - do you prefer physical books or electronic?  Hard-cover or paperback? If you have e-reader software, which one(s) do you like best and why?  And do you usually borrow or buy your books?

Personally, although I love paperback physical books when available, I'm a big fan of Google Play Books for e-books, when they're available through it.  I have Google Opinion Rewards, so I often get my books for free from the Google Play Store through my rewards.  I also love the night mode feature that gradually eliminates the blue light from your screen as it gets later in the evening and it has a "Read Aloud" setting for times when you can't focus on your screen (like, say, when I'm on the elliptical for my daily workout) that I really love.