Coffee

Part Eighty-Three: Broken Hearts Club

***1:26 a.m****

I've been here three hours- having tests run, vitals checked and constant restlessness. Max has been patiently waiting with me as he trusts his team to come up with the correct diagnosis.

The pain has slowly subsided and now I'm just tired as all gets out. Diana Flores comes in finally with my file and smiles.

"Helen, how are we feeling?"

"Better..." I quietly say.

"Was it a heart attack?" Max asks and Diana smiles.

"No, thankfully it wasn't a heart attack. It was a panic attack with non cardiac chest pain. The pressure you felt in your chest, neck and arms, was all caused by stress and anxiety, your depression. Was there anything going on before this happened that would have rose your heart rate? Exercise perhaps? A surprise event?"

"I was yelling..." I say and Max looks down at his hands as Luna sleeps against him.

"So you were in an argument. Arguments are very stressful and can strain the muscles in your body without you even realizing it. I'm gonna recommend that you take the next few days to relax- no working on Monday: and if the pain comes back or gets worse- come in and we'll figure something out." We nod and she smiles. "I can get you ready for discharge- I'll be right back."

Once she leaves, I feel my world caving in tightly around me.

"I'm sorry- you wasted your time. Luna shouldn't have had to sleep like that for this long." I quietly say and Max doesn't look up from his hands.

"Your not a waste of time, Helen." His voice is quiet, but sincere.

"I shouldn't have called. I should've known it wasn't a heart attack. I'm a doctor for Pete's sake." He looks up at me- the look of anguish on his face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't reliable in the past...but I want you to call me when you are hurt or in trouble. Doctor or not- it could've been serious."

"You didn't pick up though." I call him out on it and he sighs.

"No...but I came to find you. I knew you weren't far. I figured something serious must be wrong if you're calling me after all that." His eyes cast back towards the back of Luna's head and his hand just shake on his knees. Diana comes back and hands me the summary of the visit and let's us go. I get out of bed, my chest still aching and we make our way out and down to the atrium. Our silence grows and stays as he walks me to my house. I don't question it or tell him to go, because honestly, I don't want him too. I want him to show me how much he cares and I can't do that miles apart.

Getting to my steps, I walk up and he follows. Autopilot maybe- follow what's in front of you. Removing my keys from my purse, I unlock and open it and just stand there for a few minutes.

"Thank you...for all of it." My heart twists in my chest, but it's different- it's from being broken so many times.

"You don't need to thank me. Really- I could never repay you enough for all you've ever done for me." He is looking at the spot of cement between us. Three foot gap and yet it feels like he's in a whole other state. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Thinking on it- there is really only one thing I need from him.

Comfort.

"Can..." I stop. This is counterintuitive from my previous argument with him.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind...coming in...I know it's late- but....never mind..." I turn to unlock my door and put my key in the hole.