Coffee

Party Ninety-Four: Light

I went home for the rest of my day.

The conference calls and zoom meetings were anything but dullard. My head still swiveled around and around this Max thing.

It's weird- not having thought about my teen's- and not seeing how it set me up to be a punching bag to everyone who came after Xander. I had blocked him out for the most part. I never connected his actions to those of other men and the mental affect it had on me. Allowing me to almost seek out the troubled men who who couldn't control themselves.

Words do cut deeper than knifes.

They can't be taken back once their heard and that voice only grows louder the more you try to better yourself.

I heard Max say he loves me- but it was very easily dismissed every time- no matter how it made my stomach turn, my mind still told me there was a hidden agenda underneath it. That he was just waiting to hurt me even more. All the problems we've had that weren't Chemo related- were by my doing.

How couldn't I have seen what I was doing? I subconsciously sabotaged everything- even when I thought I wasn't. The motives to keep me safe outshined the man who made me feel just that.

Knock Knock!

Getting off my dining room chair, I go to the front door and open it to find Max holding Luna. It's only 4:30- way too early for him to be out of work. He's in his street clothes and Luna is in a cute leopard jumper and black leggings.

"Hey! What are you doing here? It's 4:30." I state and he steps forward and kisses my lips and hands me Luna, who immediately lays her head on my shoulder and plays with my hair. "Hi munchkin."

I peck her forehead and Max kisses me again- pulling me into his side.

"I thought we'd come visit. Check on you. See if you needed anything." I smile for the first time in a while and it feels out of place.

"How sweet. I just got out of my last meeting with Paris."

"Hmm, sounds  tres magnifique." He tries to sound impressive and I smirk.

"Oui, tres magnifique. Maintenant je suis prêt à te sauter les os, Cherie." My French accent sounds natural and his eyes widen.

"Wow...I don't know what you just said...but that was the hottest thing I ever heard."

"Peut-être que je devrais continuer à parler de cette façon pour tu sois toujours prêt à baiser." I shut the door and look at him seductively. He swallows hard and opens and closes his fists- clasping the bottom of his fleece jacket. He's like any teenage boy who encounters a pretty woman for the first time. My brother Jack was like this with his student teacher in secondary school. Walking to him, I put my free hand flat on his chest and I feel his heart beating rapidly. "Allons."

I tug on him and bring him to the living room by the belt loop of his jeans. The dogs come hustling from downstairs and run circles around us.

"So...fluent?"

"Oui." Removing my hand from his belt loop and I sit down beside him- Luna still laying against me with pacifier in her mouth and braids in her hands. "I studied abroad my senior year. Lived with a nice family in the heart of Paris for almost a year."

"Wow...there's so much I don't know about you." I look down and frown. It's because I fight with him more than I let him love me. "Hey, it's alright- we have forever to learn about each other."

"I just feel like we wasted the last 11 months..." putting his hand on my knee, he smiles and shakes his head.

"No. They weren't a waste. Even the days we fought- they were still the best days of my life because I got to spend them with you." Leaning over, he kisses my neck and moves his hand up my inner thigh.