gt oneshots

stuck pt. 4

I've been here before. Sitting on the rooftop with my legs hanging down over the gutters, taking in the grand sights—and smells—of the town strewn across the winding streets below. The canals are bursting with energy tonight, and sound seeps out of the city's every pore like Kairen's gorgeous violin melodies through an open window. For nearly three hours now, I've been making a show of trying to catch his attention.

I am also fantastically high.

I am floating comfortably above this place on a cloud that smells like booze and Abigail Winslow's lavender perfume, and in no time Kairen's obnoxiously adorable face will peek out above the fog. He'll gather me up in his hands like a precious, delicate thing in need of saving, and he'll tell me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. That is before he passionately kisses me all over the face, of course.

At least, that's what's happening inside my head.

The world outside my oddly perverted imagination is a lot less. . . .fantastic.

And that is because Kairen and I have been sitting here together for the past three hours, and rather than making sweet, passionate love to each other, neither one of us has said a word.

So maybe I think about doing particularly unladylike things with Kairen all the time. That doesn't mean it will ever happen.

And I'm starting to believe that it won't, unfortunately. Either he's just plain dense, or he hasn't even the slightest romantic interest in me.

Which is just completely unfair. Kairen is quite possibly the most beautiful creature on God's green earth, and if I'm not permitted to be with him, then what's the point of being here at all?

Kairen is cradling his violin in his arms, not paying any attention to me. He's barely lifted his eyes from it since we climbed up here, which is getting rather annoying, since I've always been sort of desperate to have his focus on me at all times. He drags the bow across a few of the strings, furrows his brows, and tries again.

I busy myself with rolling leaves in a Bible page torn from the one my father forces me to keep in my bedside drawer. I crawl to the edge of the rooftop and lean dangerously far over the lip of the tiles to catch the tip of my makeshift cigar in the grease lamp; my father confiscated my pipe months ago.

I can feel Kairen's eyes on me as I take a long drag on it, letting the foul-smelling smoke hold in my lungs before blowing it out in a long, thin stream. It curls skyward in foggy puffs, and I wave a hand in front of my face to clear the air so I have a better view of Kairen's soft green eyes.

And what a magnificent view it is.

He finally glances down at me over the edge of his fiddle. A faint smile tugs at the corners of his lips. It sets a great big fiery explosion off in my chest, and I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than to kiss him in that brief, desperate moment.

Lately, all of our moments have been rather brief and desperate.

"I see you've finally found a use for that book."

At last I'm able to tear my gaze off of him for more than three seconds without fantasizing about the feeling of his lips on mine to lift the crumbling cigar to my lips.

"I am very resourceful, you know." I take a pull and let the smoke out through my nose. It leaves a kind of burning sensation in the back of my throat, but it's not entirely unpleasant. I immediately want to take another drag. "Look, darling, I can read the scripture as I go. Ah, this part's my favorite—"'You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination.'"

Kairen laughs, which is quite possibly my favorite sound in the entire world—next to the noise a girl makes when you kiss the side of her neck. But that's besides the point.