Invisible String

Chapter 18 - Fearless

Alex sat beside me on the couch as we finished watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire while he rubbed my shoulders. It had been two days since our reconciliation, and he'd been at my house about sixty percent of the time since then. He left to do an interview on Good Morning America and to record some music for a while earlier that day. He came back to my place in an excellent mood, and it was nearing midnight before we went to bed.

We slept in late the next morning and woke up, smiling, holding onto one another tightly. And this was precisely how I wanted the rest of my life to be. But somewhere deep inside, I knew it couldn't be. Something would eventually go wrong. It couldn't feel this great forever. I knew that, and I had to keep reminding myself before I fell way too hard for him. He was a great guy, but even if he weren't the one that ruined this, something would, eventually. Perfection doesn't exist, and this was too close for it to last forever.

He brushed his finger down my neck and kissed me; when he pulled back, we were still grinning like idiots at each other.

I internally sighed. I could at least enjoy it before I lost it all.

I kissed him back sweetly, and he pulled me closer to him. "I have to go to a meeting today."

"What time?"

"One." He looked over me at the clock on my nightstand. "I have an hour and a half. Wanna take a shower quickly?"

We got up from the bed, went into my bathroom, and he turned on the water while I undressed in front of the mirror. There was a hickey mark on my neck from our sexcipades, and I leered at him through the mirror. He shrugged as he grinned back at me.

"Really, Hannah, where do you have to go where that will be a problem?" He walked over to me while dropping his boxers to the ground. His member hardening as he pressed himself against my backside.

I was naked as well, but I was not about to give up the goodies to him now. "What do you mean by that?" I asked, offended.

He sighed and kissed my neck lightly, and I pulled away, then turned around to face him. "Don't take it like that, please."

"How else am I supposed to take that, Alex?"

"As a joke. I was teasing. You don't have to go out if you don't want to, so the hickey isn't something you really need to worry about. That's all I meant." He reached for my arms and pulled me against his body.

He led me into the shower and turned me around to face the water. I dipped my head under it slowly while he ran his fingers through my short hair and laid it back and smoothed it out. He continued to massage my scalp softly for a while until I pulled him under the water with me. I turned around to face him, and he smiled.

"Forgive me?"

"Maybe," I said. "That felt really nice."

I leaned forward and laid my head on his chest.

"Good," he rubbed his hand through my hair, down my back, and grabbed the shampoo. He squeezed a small amount into his palm, rubbed his hands together, and then gingerly worked his fingers through my hair.

I looked into his eyes as suds dripped down the sides of my face, threatening to sting my eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"I guess I'm apologizing."

"I thought you didn't mean it the way I took it."

"Not just for that, Hannah." He wiped my forehead with his thumb, then kissed it. "For everything. I'm sorry."

I looked into his eyes, and for a moment, I swear I could read his mind. His thoughts were on the surface of his face, and I knew in that instant, this was the closest I would ever be to anyone. He was genuinely sorry, and even though I had forgiven him already for the way he'd acted before, he clearly hadn't forgiven himself yet.

"Alex, please, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I told you that already. I'm not mad at you." I laid my hand over his heart. "And you should forgive yourself. You were only doing what you needed to do for you."

He nodded regretfully, and I leaned back, still looking into his eyes. I mouthed 'I love you' to him, then closed my eyes and rinsed myself clean.

We got out of the shower a little while later, dried off, then went back to my room to change. He'd brought some clothes back with him the last time he'd left and I found space in a drawer for him. His new apartment wasn't completely furnished, so he wouldn't be spending much time there right away anyway.

He left not long after, and I retired to the living room to work some more on my new book. It was going decently well. It was just a first draft, but I was well over halfway through with it. It was just your typical love story with the slightest bit of comedy, but a touch more of danger and mystery and a lot of love and sex. It was so stereotypical that I wanted to shoot myself just for writing it. But what else could I do?

Maybe I could leave my publisher... but no, I couldn't. And that kept me where I was. Writing a book I didn't even like.

After a few pages of generic banter, sex, and reconciliation, I realized something. I did have control over what I wrote. I was not a puppet. I was a woman with a mission, dammit.

I grabbed my phone off of the coffee table, stood tall, and dialed Robin's number before I even really knew what I was doing.

"Robin Clayton," he answered, obviously busy.

"Robin, its Hannah, do you have a minute?"

"Uhh... yeah, but only a minute, sorry, Sweetie, I'm about to meet with a high-profile client. Can't keep them waiting."

"Of course, I don't want to keep you. But remember that book I wrote that we talked about... you know, that I sent to you. Did you get a chance to take a look at it?"

"I didn't email you back?"

"No, I don't..." I double-checked my email while speaking. "I don't have anything from you."

"Oops, I meant to. Sorry. It's been a little hectic here lately. I did talk with the publisher Royal Tribute, and they want to meet with you ASAP. They'd have to work around your contract with Pinnacle, but they are willing to do that."

Stunned, my mouth dropped open, and I asked quickly after, "Oh my God, are you shitting me?"

"I most certainly am not," he sounded slightly offended by my foul language.

"Sorry, Robin. I just... you... really?"

"Yes, Hannah. Really."

"When do they want to meet with me?"

"As soon as they can, but we haven't scheduled a date yet. This time, I promise to email you as soon as I know. They want to have Beth there to discuss the financial aspect of the contract and the contract you have in place with Pinnacle. So it'll be a bit complicated, but they are willing to buy out your contract if necessary so that you can continue with adult books."

I sat down slowly, my mouth hanging open again. "Wow, you're really serious. I... I can't believe this." I shook my head, completely amazed. "Thank you so much, Robin."

"No problem, sweetie, but I gotta go. I'll email you with more details."

"Okay, thank you again."

"Talk to you soon."

I leaned back into the cushions smiling stupidly, almost unable to breathe. This was the best news I had gotten in a very long time. Now, don't get me wrong, Pinnacle had been good to me. They brought me all of the success that I have experienced today, but Royal Tribute is the best publisher out there. They have the top names in the industry, and some of my most beloved authors work with them. Now, I had the chance to be an author they represented.