Invisible String

Chapter 51 - Invisible String

A few days after I'd returned to my half-packed apartment with my box of miscellaneous crap, I finally allowed Alex to come over. It had taken me those days of reprieve to grieve my relationship, and friendship, with Jaiden. It hurt more than I thought possible. Certainly more than I ever thought it would.

I stood in front of the mirror, pulled my now shoulder-length hair back into a sloppy bun, then stood still judging myself for a moment. I was missing something. I looked... empty.

My hand went to my neck and I began searching the top of the vanity, then in the drawers until I found it tucked away in a little black box in the bottom drawer. I'd never given it back to him with my other stuff. I couldn't.

I pulled it out and hung the ladybug necklace from my neck. I closed my eyes and held a hand over it for a moment as I said a silent prayer to my grandpa.

When I opened my eyes, tears stung them but I pushed them back.

I went into the living room and sat down, then filled two glasses with wine on the coffee table. I turned on the TV a classic sitcom was playing. I watched half-heartedly until I heard his knock.

My heart raced the way it always did when anyone knocked on my door. Half-nervousness from having someone on the other side of the entrance to my home and half-anxiety from seeing him again.

I stood still for a moment in front of the door, questioned my choice of yoga pants and tank top, then rolled my shoulders and opened the door.

Alex stood in front of the door, a bouqet revealed from behind his back and a devilishly handsome smile spread across his face.

"Hope it's not too much," he said, handing me the daisies wrapped in pink cellophane. "I wanted something that said... fresh start."

"How about third start?"

His smile slipped to one side as I smelled them.

"They're lovely, thank you," I said, then stepped aside and gestured for him to come in. "And you didn't have to."

"I know," he said, entering and taking off his jacket. He hung it from my nearly bare coat rack.

He glanced around the room and appeared to take in the boxes, as well as the unfamiliar tidiness of the apartment.

"So, you're not moving then? Or...?"

"I'm not, I just haven't had the... I haven't unpacked," I said, not wanting to make excuses. "I haven't been up for it."

"Understood," he said, nodding at me and seemingly understanding that I didn't want to discuss it.

"You want to sit down? I just poured some wine."

"Yes," he said, following me over to the couch. "Were you watching this?"

He gestured to the TV once he sat beside me.

"Sort of," I said, letting out a small chuckle. "I was having a hard time concentrating on it."

"Why?"

"I don't know... it's almost like we're having a... a first date, again," I said, feeling my cheeks grow warm.

He laughed and nodded, biting his lip. "I know, I feel the same way. I have no idea why I'm so goddamn nervous."

"You, too?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you'd think I'd be used to showing back up at your door, but um, it wasn't easy. I had some liquid courage beforehand."

"Again?"

"I, um, I didn't have much, just a little. Just enough to get past the nerves," he said, embarrassed.

"No, it's okay, I had a glass of wine, go figure. It's... it's difficult to start all over again."

"I don't really think it's starting over. I mean, we don't just get to ignore our past now, it's more like... a new chapter. Or a sequel. This is our fresh start, but the past still happened."

My heart fluttered as I stared at him in awe. "I thought I was the writer?"

"Hey, I write my own lyrics," he said, his hand found mine on the couch and gave it a small squeeze. "And I mean it. This isn't a new story, this is us. Hopefully this can be our happily ever after."

"Hopefully," I said, squeezing his hand back.

Then, instead of waiting for the night to lead wherever it would, instead of waiting for him to do something first, I decided to follow my heart. I let go of his hand and moved my fingers to his face, where I cupped it lightly as I bent over kissed him. He'd inhaled upon my lips pressing against his and I didn't pull away until I felt him relax.

"Alex," I breathed his name quietly as I pulled away. "I love you. I have always loved you and I always will."

"I love you, too, Han," he said, his hand reached over and brushed my cheek. "I never stopped loving you and I never will."

Yes, I had thought it before. And no, I couldn't predict the future. But every part of me was absolutely certain it was him.

And it always would be.

The End