𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗚𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗠𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱 🤍

•𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲•

A/N: There will be a flashback in this chapter which will be in italics- this is your heads up so your not confused as fuck 😂

•☁️•

Nikki's POV, June 1987

After Tommy left, I had been alone the rest of the week, entirely alone for the first time in years and I hated it, I've tried filling the emptiness with heroin but even that wasn't doing anything anymore.

Tour was gonna suck, I don't know how I'm going to do this... I have no fucking idea... I'm gonna have to face Tommy and I'm pretty sure he's still pissed and I can't blame him because this is all my fault. I didn't know whether Tommy was taking River with him or not- I think he is seems as that was what we were going to do anyways.

Yes, I'm still going on tour. It might be a dumbass decision but it's me, what do you expect?

I had Doug come over the day after Tommy left courtesy of Mick- who had rang me early that morning- to check if I was 'okay' which no, I wasn't okay, I'm far from fucking 'okay'. But, I'm not cancelling the tour, I need a distraction and a tour is a good fucking one but seeing Tommy is going to hurt, seeing River is going to hurt.

This is gonna be one of the worst experiences of my life. Guilt was still eating away at me- I just wanted to die honestly, just shoot me- it would be less fucking painful.

The car I was in currently had been sent my Doc and Doug to collect me and take me to the airport, the first show was just under 2 days from now but we needed to get to the destination and settled before we played.

The plane journey is going to be a laugh.

Mick is the first only person to have spoken to me since Tommy left obviously Tom and has ignored me but so has Vince but in fairness I'm not really 100% sure Vince even knows what's happened.

Dread filled my entire body as I pulled up to the airport and was escorted out of the car, my heart didn't know whether to be happy, angry, sad or heartbroken at seeing Tommy- I can't even remember walking from the car to the plane, was it the drugs or nerves which caused that amnesia I have no clue but here I am about to have the most awkward plane ride in history.

When I stumbled my way up the stairs I was stopped at the top by a familiar blonde mop of hair.

Vince...

My feet came to a halt and I stared at the man silently demanding why he's standing there in my way. Vince visibly grew nervous at my icy glare but spoke up anyway "Sixx... I-.. I got a message from Tommy"

My face softened slightly at the mention of
my fiancé's name but I still maintained my eye contact with the blonde "What is it? Can't he tell it to me himself?"

The singer shook his head wearily "No, the... fuck, the thing is Nikki... he doesn't want to see you..."

"What? Why?" I ask immediately.

Vince gives me a look of 'Are you fucking seriously asking me that?' "Why do you think? Your still on the drugs aren't you?" He states matter of factly.

Ah, so he did know. Great.

It didn't take a genius to see Vince was disappointed in me. I couldn't be pissed at him cause I'm disappointed in myself- although he was nervous to speak his mind on the issue Vince was still going to preach me about it. In a way I admired that.