It Just Happened That Way || JEONGIN from skz!

11

I move to the couch and sit down. I motion for him to sit next to me. We turn to face each other from opposite sides of the couch.

He takes a deep breath. 

"Yeona. I'm sure you don't know this because you just moved to Korea, and you don't seem to really listen to a lot of K-Pop, but..this just sounds so silly, but I'm in a boy group called Stray Kids." He pauses to see my reaction. I give him nothing, wanting him to just explain to his heart's content. He continues.

"When I first met you, I really liked hanging out with you, and I didn't want to ruin your impression of me by seeming like some self-centered celebrity who cared only about himself. I also didn't want you to become one of my friends who stayed with me only because of my fame." 

He winces a little at how pretentious he sounded just from the get go. 

"God. This is already going poorly. What I'm trying to say is that I wanted an authentic friendship that was based on nothing but our personalities. I've had a lot of friends who only used me to tell others that they were friends with a member of Stray Kids. Those friends weren't good friends, and I was so tired of it all. You were like a breath of fresh air, you were oblivious to it all, and we could be friends without any complications!"

One corner of my lips goes up feebly, and I open my mouth to speak.

"Jeongin, I..." my heart is heavy, because I now realized how badly he had wanted me to not know.

"Jeongin. I'm going to be completely honest with you, but I want you to know that I have never wanted to be your friend just because you are in Stray Kids or anything like that. I was just lonely after moving here, and happened to move in next door, and we happened to click" He frowns a little bit.

"What are you saying?"

"I — I know about Stray Kids, and I knew about you from the start. It was hard not to — you guys are really famous in the states as well."

He gets up in a rush and takes a half-step backwards. "You never told me you knew. You pretended not to know this whole time?"

"Jeongin, listen to me. I need you to at least know that every time we met up in the beginning was coincidental. Trust me on that, please!" I didn't want him to think I was stalking him. I rise from the couch, desperate to regain his trust. "I never came clean to you about knowing about Stray Kids because I also didn't want it to become a big deal with our friendship. I didn't want to come off as inauthentic! Please! Would you have even wanted to be my friend if you knew that I knew about Stray Kids?"

"Yeona, you lied to me..." he says quietly, shaking his head with a look of pain in his eyes. I can see that his eyes are swimming with tears. My heart aches, and tears start to form in my own eyes.

"Jeongin, please. I never wanted to hurt you, and I never wanted you to hurt me. I wanted us to be as normal as possible. I was just...I was just so alone, and you happened to be my neighbor. I couldn't help it. I wanted a friend, and you happened to be there."

He takes two more steps backwards, before saying, "I can't believe I trusted you" and leaving.

Bewildered, I sink to my knees, and lean my body against the side of the couch. Tears start streaming out.

I messed up.