Starboy - DarLas -The Outsiders

Chapter 2

Three weeks later

It was Memorial Day weekend, and Johnny, Pony, and I were walking around town that day. We had gone to the dingo, played pool, talked, hug around. But when things started to get heated, we left, knowing Darry would kill us if we got into any trouble. So there we were, walking down the streets of Tulsa. I should be happy, but I wasn't. I felt somewhat lonely, and I was worried about Darry. His mood hadn't gotten any better. In fact, it had gotten worse. He was rarely happy, he was angry all the time, and he started treating the topic of suicide like it was some joke. I was kind of mad at that, but I couldn't help but feel worried for him. Then, my brooding session was interrupted by a small voice.

"Wanna head back over to my house?" Pony suggested.

We all agreed to his house, since we had nothing else to do. I couldn't help but feel happier, more upbeat. I don't know why. I just did.

The entire way there, we joked around, raced each other, and roughhoused a little. Just happily making our way down the sidewalk without caring about the people looking at us funny. Hey, you're in my way when I get amped up, that's on you.

We made it to the front of the house. We stop for a minute. Something wasn't right. It was silent, then we heard someone shouting awful names and insults that I couldn't even think of saying to another person...it sounded like Steve. I listened closer. I heard another voice, trying to calm the other person down. Eventually the first person yelled his final insult and then it was quiet again. 

What the hell was going on?

Next thing I know, I saw Steve angrily storming out the door, followed by Soda, followed by Two-Bit. Both Steve and Two-Bit wore hateful expressions that told me something wasn't right. I then took another glance at Soda, who had his hands shoved in his pockets and had a guilty, sympathetic look on his face.

I grabbed Soda by the arm and got his attention. "What's happening, man?"

"I-uh," Soda looked around uncomfortably, then back at me. "Well-"

"Soda c'mon!" Steve shouted, still angry from whatever happened inside. "I don't want to stick around this place any more than I have to."

Soda looked between me and Steve nervously. He ripped his arm away and walked off, joining Steve and Two-Bit. I looked over at Johnny and Ponyboy, but they were just as confused as I was.

I made my way up to the porch. I slowly opened the front door and poked my head in. There he was, sitting on the couch, with his head in his hands. I motioned for Johnny and Pony to stay put, and then closed the door behind me. 

I cleared my throat. "Darry? Everything alright?"

Darry just sat there silently. I sat down next to him on the couch, lowering my head to his.

"You okay, Superman?" Darry still didn't respond. I looped my arm over his back, pulling him closer. His breathing was fast and short, and he was choking a little.

"Darry, you alright man? What's wrong?" I knelt in front of him, taking his head in my hands. He was obviously holding back tears, and his jaw was quivering. I hated it. I hated seeing him like this. I had to do something. I got up and sat next to him again, this time pulling him into a hug. "What's wrong, man?" He didn't say anything, he just gave in to the embrace, burying his face into my shoulder. Not knowing what to do, I just held him tight and rocked him back and forth.

If there was any way to describe that moment, it was downright awkward. I wasn't used to seeing Darry like this. I was used to Superman. The tough, brave greaser that stood tall like a statue. Not as much a statue as a wall. I big wall around his heart. Not that I expected him not to have emotions, but seeing him so defeated...it hurt. I guess the wall finally fell.

The silence was about to tear apart my being, so I asked him again. "You wanna tell me what's wrong, man?" Darry looked at me with those blue eyes, and took a deep breath.

"I-I can't tell you." He looked down, ashamed, and then sat up and looked me in the eyes.

"Why not?" I persisted.

"Because..." he stuttered, obviously not wanting to answer the question. He had a look to him that I've never seen before. Lost. Scared. Broken. Just taking it in felt like an electric drill to the heart. Actually, that's kind of drastic. Fuck it. I sighed, and grabbed his chin, preventing him from looking away. God knows why I did that. I felt my cheeks get hot, and everything about this was embarrassing for some reason. But I didn't let it show. I looked him square in the eyes, and there was this moment of understanding between us. He was scared of telling me. Darry has pretty good judgement. If he didn't want to tell me, I shouldn't want to know. But I did.

"You can tell me anything, man," I replied gently. And...never doing the gentle thing again. Nope.

He suddenly became misty eyed, taking deep breaths trying to keep himself from crying. "T-that's what he said."

Wait who said what? "What do you mean?"

Now he was on the verge of tears. "Soda." I let go of his jaw and he looked down, his breathing getting deeper. "I lost him Dal," he choked, "Just like Mom an Dad." He was trying hard not to cry, and he was breaking down. "He left me-"

I pulled him close again and started rocking him back and forth, but this time is wasn't as weird. "Hey, don't cry!" Darry trembled as I held him in my arms. This wasn't Darry at all. Whatever happened must have really hurt him. I liked the feeling of Darry in my arms. I didn't know why. I pushed the thought aside, and the we just sat there in silence. 

"Can I ask you something, Darry?" 

Darry sat up, and in a groggy voice he replied, "Go ahead."

"What was it that made Steve so mad?" I looked at Darry, who got that ashamed look on his face and clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. I immediately noticed and, without thinking, pulled one of my amazing newfound maneuvers. I grabbed his wrists and pulled them close, preventing him from hurting himself. "Stop that. Now, what is it that made Steve so mad?" I paused for a moment and sighed. I let go of his wrists. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, man." I looked him in the eyes once more. "But I'd like to know."

He paused and thought for a moment. I could practically see the gears turning in his head. Then, he answered.

"It's better if I don't tell you." Then there was a peaceful silence between us. We made eye contact, and there was a moment of understanding. We sat there for a little longer.

"Alright," I finally said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "But just know I'm here if you need me, man." Darry smiled and pulled me into another hug. "Thanks, Dal." 

We continued hugging one another, because apparently neither one of us wanted to let go. It wasn't awkward, but it felt good. It felt right.

Then, there was a soft creak of the door, and someone came in.

"Y'all okay?" I looked over to see Pony and Johnny standing by the door, watching us. I felt my cheeks get hot, and I pulled out of the hug. Darry had the same reaction, and everything was awkward again.

"Yeah, were alright," Darry answered, "How's your day been going? Staying out of trouble?"

Pony and Darry started messing around, and me and Johnny just watched. I couldn't stop staring at Darry. I then looked at Johnny, who looked at me and gave me a grin. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he rolled his eyes and joined in the conversation.

And for the rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about Darry. The way I held him in my arms. His smile. His laugh. His stormy blue eyes. It was when I was laying on the bed in the guest room at Buck's house that I figured it out.

I love him, don't I?

And I sure as hell wouldn't let anybody know. We would both be fucked if anyone did. Why? I don't know.

I thought about it for a minute. Because society says so.