Starboy - DarLas -The Outsiders

Chapter 18

A/N: My new favorite song is Migraine. 

The past two weeks only went downhill from there. Darry was working from early morning to late at night every day, for five days. The fatigue gradually took over, and at the end of the fist week, there was an angsty, soulless vessel who was, not even weeks ago, my snarky, lively boyfriend. I was honestly pissed. I had just fished him out of the emotional train wreck he was in, and next thing I know I'm dating a robot. Can't that dude stay put together for ten minutes?

I don't have a reason to be annoyed, though. Looking back on the previous events, I've been rather oblivious to all that's going on. So, earlier this week, I sat myself down and let reality sink in.

Everyone knows we're homosexual and most people want us dead. Darry is working his ass off trying to make ends meet and will be a goner if I don't find a way to fix this.

Time to go jump off a cliff.

Ehh, screw it. Darry won't survive without me.

I guess I tried to block out the real world, because Darry was taking it so hard, and I wanted to be there for him. When he's not an emotionless ball of stress, he's screaming bloody murder from the nightmares he gets. They've started coming so often, the poor kid's scared to go to sleep at night. Whenever I wake him up and calm him down, he goes right back to sleep and has another nightmare. He's tried to skip sleeping several times, and some nights he's gotten away with him. I started sleeping with him. Sleeping with him meaning sleeping in the same bed as him. Just because he seems to sleep better when I'm with him. It's kind of adorable, for all the wrong reasons. He's a lot more guarded, and it kills me inside knowing that there's something bothering him he doesn't want us knowing about.

I sigh and look at Darry, who is sitting in my lap, clinging on to me for dear life. His head is buried in my shoulder, but he's not crying. Just hiding from the world. He had another nightmare, and luckily I was there to comfort him. Pony and Soda sit awkwardly next to me, trying to pry into their older brother. Johnny is sitting next to Pony, joining in our efforts to calm Darry down.

"Darry, is there something you want to talk to us about?" Soda asks hesitantly, "You can tell us anything."

Darry is unresponsive. 

"Dar?"

"Nah, I just had a nightmare," He states. He looks up at his brothers and gives them an empty smile. He's still really tense, hinting that he might be lying. He turns his head back around and resumes burrowing it in my shirt. I looked over at Ponyboy, who was just about ready to explode.

"Pony, you a'ight?" I ask. He takes a deep breath, and stands up out of frustration. He's struggling to keep cool, and his hands are in fists.

"Guys, I need to tell you something really personal," He stuttered, glancing at Darry. Darry slides out of my lap and nods at Pony to keep going. Pony takes a deep breath.

"As y'all know, I used to get nightmares like this," He starts, fiddling with his shirt, "And I used to think the universe just hated me or something. But it wasn't that." He hesitates.

"What are you getting at?" I ask. 

"When I had my nightmares, I was somewhat depressed and definitely had some social anxiety," Pony admitted. He looked up at Darry and Soda, who were just as shocked as I was. "I'm better now," He said reassuringly, "But," He trailed off. He regained his focus and looked Darry square in the face. "I'm scared for you, Darry. My nightmares were the same as the ones you're having now." 

He looked down and kicked at the flooring. "I don't know what else to say, but y'all know what I'm getting at," He looks at me, tears in his eyes. "Right?"

I nod. Soda nods. Johnny nods. We all look at Darry, who's giving Ponyboy the thousand-yard-stare. He nods just like the rest of us, and keeps his gaze set on the wall behind Ponyboy. Pony frowns.

"Darry, are you even paying attention to me?" Pony asks impatiently. Darry looks up at him blankly and nods. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. 

"Must be some crazy coincidence," Darry laughs, "I appreciate the concern, little man." 

There are sirens going off in my head all over the place. I used to have nightmares. After Matthew died. I would get bad migraines. I was always worrying about what other people thought about me, about fitting in at school. I hated myself, and I tried a few times to kill myself. I have to say something. I can't let Darry leave me like Matthew did.

"It's not." I state bluntly. Every set of eyes is trained on me. 

"How do you know?" Darry questions.

"When I first moved here--" I stop myself. I almost told them about what happened back in New York. Darry raises an eyebrow, he doesn't know all the details yet. Pony, Johnny, and Soda are looking at me inquisitively, hungry for answers.

"Tell us, Dal!"

"Yeah, you can trust us!"

I groan at the ceiling and look over at Darry, who was sitting at my side, listening closely to every word I say. I pinch the bridge of my nose and give in.

"What I'm about to tell you guys is extremely personal." I began. "You've got to promise me not to tell anyone." 

"We promise!" Soda said cheerfully. Pony and Johnny nodded simultaneously, and Darry sat behind me, wrapping his legs around me and stroking my hair. I leaned into his chest and looked at the three sets of young eyes watching our every move.

"Alright." I laughed. I sighed as the dark memories came flooding back. "It all started back in New York..."

Not me procrastinating and watching NaruMitsu videos even though I'm not part of the Ace Attorney fandom...

There isn't enough DarLas fanart on google. Somehow "DallyxDarry fanart" translates to "Show me all of your Green Day, Jally, DarBit and Young Justice fanart you have."

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Stay gold, stay alive, and power to the local dreamer.