we'll live to tell the tale (l.s.)

we used to talk about running away

the two of them somehow meandered back to bed after their smoke break—neither of them really remembered much past that conversation. all harry knew was that when he opened his eyes, he thought it was all a dream and wanted to lull himself back to sleep. he'd recall all the memories from last night and they'd seem so far away, as if they happened to a different person. but he knew that he had to get up and get ready for the day, he was never one to sleep in.

harry turned to the opposite side, and in front of him was all eyelashes and glowing skin. he reached out, gently stroking the sleeping creature's cheek, confirming that he was real before calling out. "lou?" no response. so again, louder, this time putting his arms around him in a crushing embrace. "louuu?"

a groan escaped from the ocean boy as he slowly came to, finding his face nuzzled in harry's chest. "what time is it?" he yawned, "what day is it again? what year?"

"whoa there, hold your horses, little one. it's sunday. hardly 10 in the morning. you shouldn't have any classes today."

"just a little longer, then," louis whispered, closing his eyes. "don't want to overstay my welcome, though."

"never," harry said, almost too quickly. "although i do have work at 3 today. you're welcome to stay and sleep, though."

"harold, that's in 5 hours. i'm not a hibernating bear," the blue-eyed boy pouted, "i'll be up in a second."

"okay, okay. just making sure," harry paused, "say, what do you want for breakfast? i can make something for the two of us."

he watched the smaller boy carefully, trying to assess any odd response. but it came out normal and believable, so he decided he was worried for nothing. "i can't eat that much in the morning, or i'll get a stomachache. just tea, no milk, no sugar. only the tea packet. nothing else."

"coming right up, your majesty. heard you the first time," harry sneered playfully, "i'll make that right up for you. but i'm going to some eggs or something for myself. you sure you don't want anything else?"

louis pursed his lips. "positive." harry couldn't press him any further, so he stayed silent.

so they enjoyed their morning quietly, harry with his cereal and eggs, louis with his hot mug of tea. the two boys basked in each other's presence, not having to say anything to feel the warmth from the comfort. odd, really. although louis used to do this with zayn all the time as this was simply their dynamic, harry was never able to sit in silence; the awkwardness always consumed him and he'd feel the need to fill the empty space with mindless chatter.

he'd always thought that comfortable silence was overrated, but this was something else.

and morning bled into noon and it was time that louis had to leave. "i don't want to overstay my welcome," he said, despite harry's fruitless protests.

as if louis were waiting for harry to say one last thing, he stood still in the doorway for a few seconds which felt like an eternity to him, so when harry watched, confused, he whispered words hoping the green-eyed boy wouldn't hear him.

"this is it, isn't it? it's over?"

harry let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. so this is what the ocean boy was so worried about. "no, lou. i put my number into your phone last night when you were asleep. you can text me anytime, okay? i'd like to think we had a bit more than just a one-night stand where nothing even happened."

louis flinched, "i'm sorry. i just wasn't sure- i-"

"it's okay. where's that sassy boy i know?"

"oh, shut up styles. you're something else, you know that? i don't want to hear it from you, of all people," he laughed, tension dissipating as light-hearted air reentered the room. "i'll get going now, then. have a good one."

when the door shut and harry successfully saw the older boy off, he collapsed on his old, smelly couch feeling far more well rested than he usually would be after having drowned himself in alcohol and nicotine the night before. it felt nice.

there was something about the boy that worried him, though. he wasn't able to pry out the reason for the first panic attack on the floor of a bar, and despite knowing it was really none of his business, he couldn't help but become filled with concern for the boy.

there was nothing he could do but wait for a text, though.

harry would be lying if he said he didn't expect a text that night, or at least the next morning. but hours turned into days turned into a week and some before anything had actually happened.

he had thought about the ocean boy nonstop—if the period between the time harry had first noticed the boy and the time they truly met each other seemed excruciating, this was ten times more unbearable. louis was like a constant ache in harry's chest, and he hardly knew the boy. he was whipped and they talked for one night, not even had sex. he begrudgingly came to terms with the fact it was truly a dream, almost angry, bitter, that louis had been the one to ask harry if he would let go after one night, and not even reach back out.

until, of course, harry received a call from a number he didn't recognize on a wednesday at 9pm.

of course, this had been going on all week; he'd get calls thinking it would be louis and pick up, all excited and hopeful, but t some shitty advert asking him to buy a product. or some church trying to convert him to christianity. so he wasn't expecting much, but picked up just for the hell of it.

"hello?" he said far more harshly than he had intended. it'd been a hard day at work and he still had several assignments for school to catch up on. when the caller said nothing, he grew irritated. "hello? if it's nothing, i'm hanging up."

"...harry?" the voice said weakly, "how- how are you?"

harry wanted to take his words right out of the air and shove them back down his throat as soon as they came out. "why are you calling me, louis? i'm too tired to deal with this right now."

the words weren't even that mean, but the coldness that they held made both harry and louis' hearts bubble up with fear. "sorry, i didn't know. i can, i can, uh- i can go." his voice was shaking even harder than the first time they had spoken, and harry wanted to punch himself in the face for being such an asshole.

before he could say anything, the line cut and harry felt the adrenaline rush throughout his body; tiredness having evaporated as if it were never there in the first place. he got the ocean boy's number now, though, so when he saved the contact he rung him back immediately.

it rang five times before it stopped and he knew that louis was there, on the other side.

"louis?"