we'll live to tell the tale (l.s.)

when i saw you behind my eyelids, i knew

trigger warning// eating disorder behavior! this chapter is incredibly triggering. it doesn't go into complete detail, but just err on the side of caution, please. i understand if you don't feel ok reading, pm me and i will sum the chapter up for you. remember that you are not alone, and it gets better. i've been there. if you're looking to trigger yourself, i can't really stop you, but please consider turning around. take care of yourselves please! my dms are open. x

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by the time niall had decided to swing by, harry and louis had already been chatting for a couple of hours; and harry was about ready to prepare dinner for them both, when he received a text from niall.

niall: heyyy i'm like 5 mins from your place xx cya (sent at 18:09)

harry was in the kitchen, dressing the meat he had set out to defrost in the morning when the doorbell rang. louis was still sat on the couch reading, but now fidgety and clearly uncomfortable.

"lou? can you get that for me? my hands are still soaked with chicken juice. you'll get to meet niall as well. but don't listen to him if he says anything stupid!" he added, laughing dryly.

"o-okay!" louis responded, standing up, this time careful to close his eyes and count to eight for good measure before allowing his body to carry his entire weight completely. just in case. the smell of chicken and pasta sauce had started wafting through the apartment and it made louis feel sick yet somehow ravenous to simply coexist with the scent. while he was reading, he could hardly concentrate, with the aroma coursing through the room and wrapping its unyielding fingers around his neck. so he was grateful to be able to air out the room, air out his head, air out his anxiety.

when he opened the door, a blond man with a stupid smile on his face stood before the ocean boy. louis could tell immediately that this guy, niall, as harry had called him, was the type of person to calm whoever came within a 30-meter radius of him. the type of person louis wished he were, really. the type of person louis knew he'd never be.

"oh," niall said breathily, having ran up three flights of stairs, and louis noticed he had an irish accent. "you must be louis! the man, the myth, the legend!"

"hi..." louis had never been good with talking to new people. "harry's in the kitchen right now, but uh, why don't you come in?"

"harry's in the kitchen, huh? looks like i'm in for a treat tonight! i don't know if you've ever had harry's cooking, but the lad could be the next gordan ramsey, i'm tellin' ya!" he said heartily. louis, though accustomed to zayn's comfortable silence and thoughtful conversations, needed this every once in a while. sure, he was never a frequent party-goer or one to bask in the center of attention, but rowdiness was one of his traits back in high school, before things got really hard.

"i heard that, niall!" a voice called from the kitchen as the oven dinged, signaling that the lasagna was finished. "i don't remember inviting you over to have dinner with us." harry was much more playful yet rough around his friends, which louis found to be especially charming.

"well, h! you never specified that it was a date, you told me nothing was going on so i figured it would be okay! besides," niall teased, "you can't just make whatever the hell you're making smell so nice if you knew i was going to drop by, and not expect me to want to stay for dinner."

"i know, i know," harry rolled his eyes, but with a grin plastered on his face, "how long do you think i've known you, ni? of course i expected you to squeeze your ass in here for some nice lasagna."

"woo! i scored a big fish tonight!" the irish boy exclaimed. louis only watched the two banter from the sidelines for a couple of minutes, but he didn't mind. not if it meant he got to watch harry laugh and act like an idiot.