we'll live to tell the tale (l.s.)

maybe we are mayflies

tw// mentions of suicide , binging/purging , trauma . mostly sweet and just fluff , though. just mentions and memories.

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love you, stay safe. xx

-

they cried. a lot.

harry never thought it was possible to cry this much in just a span of twenty-four hours. but at the same time, he'd never been so gone for someone.

"i don't care what has happened to you or how you deal with things. either way, you're still the same louis i love. nothing's changed, even now that you've shown me this side of you. if anything, i want to protect you even more fiercely."

the fluorescent white light was still beating on the two unrelentingly; a painful sight for tired eyes. it was still odd for louis, having someone else in his bathroom with him. the place he'd spent his weary mornings and lonely nights was suddenly inhabited by another. "stop saying that, harry. you're signing yourself up for something gruesome can't even begin to describe."

harry smiled, tension dissipating in his chest and shoulders. louis was warning him and quietly resisting, but not fighting back so forcefully anymore. it was progress. "good thing i'm into gruesome," he teased, "i'm a pretty weird guy myself, you know?"

louis' light was returning to him and his eyes were beginning, just slightly, to go back to being that shade of powder blue harry had loved so much. they still seemed muted, but it was a step from where they were just ten minutes ago. "kinky little shit."

"welcome back," harry said, without really thinking, although to anyone else it would seem oddly placed and awkward. it made perfect sense to them, though.

"glad to be."

harry crawled a bit closer to the older boy, still sat down against the wall. "let's get to bed, shall we? i'm going to have to clean you up first, though."

as if only just becoming aware that he was only in his boxers and a thin sweater, louis jumped and scrambled to cover his legs in shame. what was calm earlier was no longer. "um, i- i'll, i'll do it myself. just go lie down, okay, haz? don't worry, i'll be there in a little bit."

harry frowned. "i want to help you, though. and i could carry you to bed after, too."

"no. i promise i can deal with this on my own."

"you always say that. and you're still bleeding, so stop that."

louis' hands were now a sticky red as well, from having pressed his palms to his open cuts. his face, he realized, also had a thin layer of blood and dried tears from having rubbed at his eyes so much earlier. "i'll wash up. i'm used to this, harry. how do you think i've functioned for all these years?"

"years?"

"yes, love. years. now hurry along, let your elders deal with their own stuff now, yeah?" the blue-eyed boy joked, albeit humorlessly. "you can turn the space heater on in the bedroom. it's getting quite chilly outside, now. i hope you didn't catch a cold today when you were out."

harry could only concede to louis' requests, as he seemed so adamant to push harry out of the bathroom. he was too tired to argue any more, anyway. so he just went to bed, lying face down, drowning himself in the ocean boy's scent. it was all lavender and softness and fresh sheets. he loved it, so much so that he wished he could get a candle of louis' smell. it would burn brightly in every room he'd be in, and it'd make everything much easier.