Always Him (Always #1)

Chapter Sixteen

The field of wildflowers surrounded me. The smell was soothing and fresh. I was at peace as I laid in the middle of the field, arms and legs spread as if I was making a snow-angel. The sun pierced through the clouds, smothering me in its rich warmness; I was soaking up every ray I could; it'd be a while before I saw it again, felt it again. Cold weather was on the way, and it would not be kind to these flowers.

A boy's laughter sounded from nearby; I sat up quickly, alarmed at the intrusion. I was supposed to be alone here; this was for me and me only. The laughter was not childlike; it belonged to a man.

"Jasper?" I called. He'd be the only one that would have the slightest chance of finding me here. It was my quiet place, my place to think and rest and become myself again. I didn't like strangers invading my privacy.

No response from the laughing man. Was he playing games with me?

"Jas?" I tried again, standing up. I spun in a circle, straining my eyes for the invader, I came up with nothing. Only the wildflowers were around me, but I'd heard laughter. I couldn't have made that up; with only me here; I'd be the only one making sounds. My heart began to pound against my chest, begging to be let free instead of staying in this now invaded sanctuary.

Slowly I began to walk. Where I was going, I had no clue, but I had to find the missing laughing boy. This was a big field; I had to get started, tell the intruder to leave. The hem of my dress kept catching on the stalks of the wildflowers; with a huff, I heaved up the skirts, pulling them to my waist. I wasn't about to catch the invader if I kept getting caught every flower. Time was beginning to feel like it was running out on me.

"Hello?"

Nothing. But what else was I to do as I walked around? I had to make some sense of this place, somehow.

Wicked laughter. It was louder than before, crueler than before. It was messing with me, and I was helpless.

I spun on my heel; the laughter had come from behind me. I hadn't made a sound; the laugh didn't come from me; I was sure of it, but it did sound familiar.

"Jas?" If he was playing a trick on me, I wasn't about to let him get away with it. With my hiked-up skirts, I darted through the wildflowers again. "Jas! Come on, this is my time and place, please let me have it! I'll share something else with you instead!"

Jasper didn't respond, but the mysterious laughing boy chuckled. It was closer. I froze where I stood. The air around me grew cold; chills went up and down my arms and legs. I dropped my skirts, had to keep my legs warm. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I slowly turned. "Jas?"

Jasper wasn't the laughing boy. No, the laughing boy was someone I didn't think I'd be able to see again. My heart went still in my chest.

The laughing boy wore a cruel smile as I locked eyes with him. I screamed. He only laughed more.

Blaine laughed more. This imposter was trying to be my brother. All the memories were coming back. All the nightmares I'd had around the time of Blaine's death were coming back to haunt me.

Dead Blaine knocking on the door, ready to come home. Dead Blaine tapping on my window, begging me to save him. Dead Blaine screaming as he was engulfed in flames, trying to escape from a car that had become a box with a padlock on it. In each of those nightmares, I'd only been able to watch the scenes unfold in front of me. I'd tried to yell out, tried to save Blaine, help him, but I was always frozen in place, buried in cement, only able to watch as over and over again my brother died, and I couldn't help him.

A few times, my parents had made appearances in those nightmares, Jasper as well. Sometimes they joined dead Blaine; others were at my side, yelling at me to do something. Telling me I was worthless for not trying to save Blaine, pathetic for watching it happen. Horrible for not letting it be me instead of him.