Always Him (Always #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Jasper

I no longer wished to go to the airport; whatever troubles my father had found himself in could wait. I turned my car in the opposite direction. Towards the river trail.

Sadie's words still echoed in my head. Didn't need me around. She didn't need me around. She didn't mean the words. She was sorry. So sorry. She loved me.

I wanted to make sense of them; I could see from her eyes that she didn't mean it. She truly regretted the words once they left her mouth; she meant to say them in a lighthearted tone with a far different meaning. It still felt wrong. I still needed some time away. Not enough time to fly to my parents but enough time to get rid of this anger she didn't deserve to have directed at her.

Sadie had made a mistake. We all make mistakes; we were human; it happened. I just never expected the words to come out of her mouth. I never expected to feel the pain of them, like blades slicing into my chest. Sadie could never mean harsh things like that; she didn't have it in her. I should've realized from the start that she'd made a mistake, forgiven her instantly. She would've done it for me; she had done it for me.

I'd been a dick.

When we were younger, Blaine and I had gotten into a fight. Sadie had heard us and came to break it up. I was too caught up in yelling at Blaine, focusing all my anger on him, that I hadn't noticed just how close Sadie had come, hadn't noticed her raise her voice to make sure we'd heard her.

"That's enough!" she'd screamed., her voice so high it could've shattered windows. "Break it up!" typical of her to break up a fight like she was our parent. In some ways, she was more mature than we were, even though we were nearly two years older than she was.

"This doesn't concern you, go away; you're not wanted, Sadie!"

She'd stepped back then, the darkness in her eyes where there was a bright light just a moment before. Tears had begun to stream down her face, although her face remained stern, still determined to break up this fight.

I'd realized the words too late. I stepped away from Blaine, who was watching the scene unfold. He didn't want to go from one fight into another, but when it came to his sister being the victim in the fight, he'd stand up for her, but only if she asked him to. She could handle herself; she'd proved that one.

"Sadie, I-I didn't mean that."

She broke my gaze and turned on her brother; Blaine straightened at the look on her face. It wasn't the time and place to joke with her, not after what I had said. Sadie could be a scary person when she was upset; neither of us wanted to stand in her way.

"No more fighting. It doesn't solve anything." She began to walk back to her room. "I'm going to study. No more fighting, just," she took a deep breath. "No more."

When she was gone, Blaine socked me in the shoulder, I'd staggered back, but my eyes were on the now-empty hall that she'd gone down. The pain from the punch lingered, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart after seeing her face crumple like it had. She kept her face strong, but it didn't hide the fact that when we walked by her room ten minutes later, we'd heard her crying into her pillow.

Sadie had forgiven me the next day with the promise that I'd never yell at her again. Never let Blaine get me so angry I took it out on her. It was the easiest promise I'd accepted. And tonight, I'd broken that promise.