Always Him (Always #1)

Chapter Thirty

Sadie

Being alone with Jasper again felt a little strange. Not in a bad way, though, more of the we had an awkward fight, and now I'm in the hospital after a horrible accident, and now I don't know what to say to my boyfriend even though I still love him to death and miss him terribly way.

He sat on the edge of the bed, hand holding mine, eyes locked with mine. He looked just as good as I remembered, even though now, he looked a bit tired. His hazel eyes still amazed me, but they had dark circles around them. He hadn't been sleeping.

"When did you sleep last, Jas?" I asked.

Jasper gave a small smile along with a shake of his head. "Don't worry about me. But you should know that it feels so good to hear you call me Jas again. For a while, I thought I'd never hear you say it again." His fingers began to trace patterns along the top side of my hand; it felt magical and full of healing energy. Each time he touched me, a part of me healed. Only he'd be able to manage that.

I smiled at him with adoration. "You waited for me."

"Came back to you just as you wished." A deep sigh. "Sades, I overreacted that day. I kicked myself in the ass right after I left. I should have let you explain, and I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't know why I got so defensive like I did." He leaned forward to kiss my cheek, pulling back only enough to lean further and kiss my other cheek. When he sat back, a satisfied look was on his face; he'd wanted to get these words out for a while now.

"I'll admit I was mad at first, but then I got upset, blaming myself for it."

Jasper's eyes widened. "It wasn't your fault!" his voice was a little too loud, and he quickly lowered his voice, eyes darting to the door, hoping he hadn't attracted the attention of my parents or the nurses. "Sades, how would that have been your fault?"

"Saying the wrong thing? Saying it the wrong way?"

An exasperated sigh left him. "As I said, I should have let you explain. You did nothing wrong. I was an ass for no reason. You didn't deserve that. I've been beating myself up, wanting your forgiveness, wanting you to hate me, wanting you to wake up, yell at me, yell at me to go away, never to see you again. I prepared myself for all of that."

Of course, he would.

"Jas, help me sit up, please?"

He stood in an instant. A hand at my back, the other at my legs. Leg. That was going to take some getting used to. I tried using my right leg for leverage, pushing up. It slipped; I clamped my lips and eyes shut. I couldn't even adjust myself in bed.

Jasper said nothing as he moved me. His hand hovered over my remaining leg.

"Sades?"

A sob came out in response.

"Sades." He spoke again, sympathy in his voice.

The bed dipped next to me, and the next thing I knew was his arm was around me, pulling me to him, careful of all the needles and tubes still connected to me. My shoulders shook with the sobs. He rested his chin on the top of my head; his arms held me tight, soothing circles where they rested on my arm and back.