What comes around, goes around like a hoola hoop

21 or 22/8/2020

My "father" even managed to turn my little brother against me with his lies that he claims to be true. Like he did with any other person from my village. He was the first person in my life to push me away from the world (I mean, from people) with lies that he always claimed to be true and always claiming that I'm the one who's lying, who's sick, who's the unethical guy, who has to go to go to jail, who is responsible for his own actions and sayings and yet everyone even celebrates and takes his side and even spreading what he said to everyone. He claimed that I had gone with him although I never did. Why would I go with a dangerous person like him. Who almost stripped me off my jacket without my will, who was planning to even sexualise and sexually asault me like he did to some specific women who were known to me, my mother and siblings, who even tried to reach out to me by asking third party people around the village and yet the people who I used to hang out at school with about me, find out who my friends used to be and what friends I have now just for him to attempt to push me away from them by saying lies to them about me, who even tried to find out what my phone number is without me knowing right behind my back, who made a fool of me in front of people at a party some years ago, who mysteriously came right behind me without me noticing, catching me from the neck to pull me to his side and forcefully kiss me on the head and although I pulled myself away from him screaming "let go of me" and he had the thrust to tell me "how do you dare talking to me like that?", who tried to convince me that I'm crazy and I don't know what am I even saying when I was like 12 and he even had the thrust to threat me that if I ever gonna open my mouth he will (forcefully) take me inti a psychiatric clinic within his own signature claiming that I don't know what evidence I grew up with and I remember wrong and that my mother was always the bad guy of the story, who almost killed my mother and older brother, who was chasing me and my siblings on the streets like a maniac everytime he saw and so many other things that I just can't list right now...... By keep on lying about me to people he knows makes me think he still wants to take a revenge on me for talking out to my mother and our lawyer about what he did in secretly without any of us noticing and ending up damaging me even more by claiming his own lies that are the truth and again tried to convince me that his own lies are the "reality" I lived in and that the people around me are the ones who are lying to me and hat he is the only person saying the truth. Excuse me "father" but by damaging your daughter even more than you already did in the past is not "protection", "love", "safety", "good", "kindness" and such. You make me think that you're still obsessed with trying to reach out to me and do what you want or at least, still what you want to do me. Even still obsessed with trying to turn people and friends against me so you can live with the satisfaction that I'm alone and I can't trust none so you can reach out to me easily. By spreading lies that you claim to be true and make people believe in them. You even want me to be responsible for your own actions and sayings. You destroyed me countless of times and you're the first person that I wish of to pay for what you did and said about me and the people around me! You're even one of the reasons I wish I never existed and that it would have been better if I killed myself! The only reasons I never attempted to kill myself is 1) I don't want to give you the satisfaction that you got rid of me and 2) I want to live despite what I had been through because of even you! and 3) I don't wanna hurt the people who I love and love me back!