Various x Reader

003 Clone High//Van Gogh

.The Consequences of Consuming Paint.

Suicidal!Van Gogh x Depressed!Reader

Trigger Warning: Referenced self-harm, Attempted suicide, Talk about self-hatred

I know this might be difficult to read but I really felt that this was somewhat accurate to his character. The actual Van Gogh was depressed and tried to end his life multiple times so it felt only fitting that clone Van Gogh be the same way.

As someone who also deals with depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies, I often use my writing to vent. I also see myself a lot in the actual Van Gogh which is probably part of the reason I love this Van Gogh so much.

Sorry Cobra_Kai_30 if this makes you cry, this fic was just begging to be written and honestly this NEEDED to be written.

Word Count: 5151

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To put it simply, there was something wrong with Van Gogh. As of late, he seemed more irritable and tired, didn't enjoy doing activities with you and, one of the more concerning to you, wasn't eating as much. He was already a pretty small, thin guy, and the thought that he wasn't eating made you worry more than normal.

You already knew Van Gogh was depressed, it was part of the reason you became friends, but it seemed that his symptoms were getting worse. With everything going on, you were scared that he would try to do something he'd regret.

You thought this because, like Van Gogh, you too were depressed and knew how impulsive people could become when they were hurting.

You were currently in Painting II with him. He was getting his work done, but he was lacking the normally present enjoyment he usually had. He seemed distracted, simply idly correcting a few mistakes in the piece he had made the day before. You had tried to start a conversation with him, but it was difficult to hold it since he wasn't really interested, only offering a few word responses.

It left a bad taste in your mouth. Even if he wasn't a very outgoing person, he would normally converse with you like there was no tomorrow.

You eventually left it alone, opting to work in silence for the rest of the class. He never made an effort to talk to you afterwards.

Class ends and you notice how slow Van Gogh gathers his things. You decide to help him, putting the paints and brushes he was using away. When you turned around you noticed that he had left before you could walk him out.

For the rest of the day you tried to get your work done in your classes, but you just couldn't help but wonder if he was alright. At first you were simply worried about him, but after that class you were terrified. Since you two didn't have anymore classes after that you tried to look for him in the halls while transitioning classes, but to no avail.

It was the end of the day and you at your lockers grabbing the books you needed to do your homework. You were planning to head over to Van Gogh's dorm to check up on him before heading over to yours for the night. Before you close your locker, however, you felt a tap on the back of your shoulder. Turning around you were met with the blue eyes of Van Gogh.

"There you are!" You said while closing your locker, "I've been looking around for you." You finished. He looked away a moment and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sorry. I haven't exactly been myself lately which...I'm sure you could tell." He said, shifting from his right foot to his left, "I've had a lot to deal with recently and have had a crap ton of things on my mind. I just...wanted to thank you for being by me and supporting me all this time."