salute [h.s]

things you said that made me feel like shit

"What's going on?"

HQ was abuzz and Piper, who was still in her pyjamas with her hair up in a messy bun, had stumbled right into the middle of it when she stepped into the kitchen. She watched Liam scurry by, a phone pressed to his ear as he hissed at the person on the other end, and caught sight of Zayn leaning over Louis's shoulder as the two of them read whatever was on his laptop screen.

"Shit's hit the fan," Harry snapped as he entered the room and crossed right past her, moving quickly. "Our operation in Tehran is about to go to hell."

Piper followed behind him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Can I help?"

"We're fine, petal." Harry's tone was brusque and harsh, and Piper slowed her steps so she was a pace behind him as he slid into the seat beside Louis's, pulling out his transmitter and tapping away. She felt dismissed and she didn't like it.

"I'm sure I can do something," she insisted as she took a cautious step forward. "If you tell me -"

"We don't have time, Piper. You just don't understand. We don't need your help."

It was like a slap to the face and Piper stumbled back two steps, her hand pressing to her stomach which knotted uncomfortably. Harry's words had been delivered in a sharp, unfeeling way but worse than that, they were just mean. All she'd wanted to do was help and Harry had just spat on her offer and brushed her off like she was worthless, a useless nuisance that he wanted off his back.

He didn't even notice. His eyes were trained on his stupid transmitter.

"Fine, um, I - I'll just get out of the way."

He didn't say anything in response so she spun on her heel, trying and failing to ignore the bitter taste in her throat and the wave of shame that rose up in her chest and turned her stomach. She practically ran from the kitchen, headed straight back to Harry's room.

She stepped into the shower, turning it on as hot as she could so that the uncomfortable temperature might distract her so she wasn't thinking about those harsh words. That wasn't like Harry at all and that made it more staggering, more painful. She hated that she felt small, felt young and inexperienced and utterly useless. She hated that he'd made her feel like that.

She managed to hold back from crying but only just barely. She was trying to stay strong. She was constantly reminding herself that Harry was just stressed and that he probably didn't mean it. Probably. Hopefully.

When she stepped back into the bedroom with her towel wrapped around her, he was waiting for her, sitting on the couch at the end of the bed. He was looking at his toes, turned in toward each other, and he was wringing his hands in his lap. When she walked in, he looked up and grimaced apologetically.

"I'm sorry, petal."

She shrugged her shoulders, trying to look like she wasn't bothered. "For what?" she asked as she crossed the room and went into the closet, picking out underwear from the small collection she kept in there.

"You know for what," he said from the other room. His voice sounded incredibly guilty and a part of her thought good riddance. "I didn't mean it the way it came out. I didn't even realize I'd said it until Zayn called me a wanker. I'm just -" he let out an aggravated sigh that she heard from in the closet "- I'm sorry."

"You're just stressed," Piper defended for him though she wasn't sure why. She stepped out of the closet in her knickers and bra, her clothes for the day in her hand. She dropped them, startled, when she found Harry waiting for her right on the other side of the closet door.

"It's no excuse," Harry told her, reaching around her to pick up her clothes for work, holding them carefully between them. "I shouldn't have lashed out like that. I am very sorry, Piper, especially if it hurt your feelings."

She was going to deny that and put on a brave face but that would just be excusing the behaviour and Harry was right, he didn't deserve that. He deserved to know the truth.

"It did hurt my feelings," she told him, her eyes trained on the outline of the swallow tattoo she could see through his thin white t-shirt. "It made me feel insignificant, like I'm not good enough to be a part of the team."

"I don't think that." Harry's hand came up to cup her jaw gently, his thumb stroking a gentle streak over her cheekbone. She glanced up and when she saw the little pout of his lips, pressed tightly together, she knew he was being sincere. "I already think of you as part of the team. I was just telling the truth in the wrong way. I really don't have time to explain the problem but I shouldn't have just shut you down. I should have communicated myself better. I'm still working on that."

Piper snorted a laugh and Harry's lips spread into a little smile. He slid his hand down so he was grasping her chin gently and used it to angle her face up so he could press his lips tenderly to hers in a feather light kiss. "Am I forgiven?"

"'Course you are," Piper said with a shake of her head. "Just, be a little more careful with your words next time."

"I promise," he assured her, crossing his finger over his heart. She giggled at the childish gesture and then placed her hands on his chest, pushing him away from her.

"Go on then. If you don't have time to explain things to me, then you don't have time to waste kissing me."

"It's never a waste of time kissing you."

"Alright Mr. Smooth Talker, that's enough out of you. Get back to work."

Harry smirked at her tough tone, taking in one last eyeful of her, half-dressed as she was. It would inevitably have to last him for the next two days as he was forced to take a last minute flight out to a military base in Germany to sort out the issue. On the flight, he worried that Piper hadn't really forgiven him. Based on the picture he received on his transmitter later that evening - one that made him blush when he opened it because he was sitting in barracks with a bunch of rowdy soldiers and he almost instantly had an uncomfortable situation going on in his trousers - he was forgiven.