Spock One Shots

No Nachos on Vulcan?

DISCLAIMER: I am a lazy trekkie! Some facts I research on Memory Beta in order to be accurate. Other things, I make up and add them to the universe as I see fit. If I ever have to choose between my work being overly accurate or entertaining, I will choose entertaining every time. Please enjoy!

***************************************************************

An announcement sounded through Discovery's comm system that the Alpha shift was complete. Thank God, you thought. You had looked at so many circuit boards in the last two hours, your eyes throbbed from searching for red and blue wires. 

"Chow time! Everybody out." Even though you weren't looking at her, you recognized Reno's voice. She had spent the last few days getting you up to speed with Discovery's systems, showing you the ins and outs faster than any of your Academy professors could have. You would never say it to her face, but you thought she was ridiculously cool. Not to mention the only person on the ship who could properly sass Stamets.

The two of you walked towards the cafeteria. Reno was going on about the benefits of preemptive systems checks before warping. You were listening and nodding, but your attention had shifted when you entered the dining area and spotted the chiseled Science Officer Spock in the corner reviewing notes on his PADD. 

Ever since Sock came aboard, he had seemed stand-offish. Even severe.  You knew he had been cleared of his charges, but that the issues surrounding the Red Angel continued to confound him and the rest of the Bridge Team.  You turned to Reno, who was pulling out food from the replicator. 

"Should we...invite him to sit with us or something? This is the fifth time he's been alone."

Reno gave a look of surprise. "You're counting?"

You felt your face heat up. You hadn't meant to be so obvious. "Well, I mean it's not that hard to notice." 

Reno made a "mm-hmm" sound that let you know she wasn't buying your weak excuse.  

"Spock seems more like a sit and brood type of guy. But it's not like I'm the Queen of Caf. Do what  you want. My advice? Why don't you try to start a conversation first? Then,--" she looked over to where Stamets and Tilly were engaged in a debate over which Backstreet Boy would look the best in Starfleet uniform. She looked back at you. "We can feed him to the wolves."

You smiled. You programmed your meal into the replicator, using the cook time to figure out your approach. By the time the machine dinged, you still hadn't come up with anything. 

Screw it. I'm going in.

Gingerly, you made your way over to his table. He seemed deeply engrossed in whatever he was reading and you had to clear your throat a couple of times before he even noticed you were there.

His turned his eyes toward you. "May I be of assistance?"

Oh god. This was a mistake. Why did I do this?   " Um.....hi. My name is (Y/N). I was just wondering if...well....May I sit down?

Spock held your gaze, barely blinking. "I would assume you are able."

Geez, who spat in his plo-meek soup?  "Right. I'll take that as a yes."

You took a deep breath, wriggling your shoulders a little to release the tension. "Honestly, I've seen you come in here a few times and get lost down whatever rabbit hole you've downloaded onto your PADD. Have you found anything new?"

Spock's eyes narrowed. He powered down his PADD and set it to the side. "What is the purpose of this conversation?"

"The purpose...is this." You pushed your tray towards him. On it, was a steaming plate of nachos piled high with all the fixings. "You haven't eaten yet. You must be hungry. Why don't you try some?"

Spock looked from you to the plate with a strange mix of surprise and confusion. 

"What's the matter?" you said. "No nachos on Vulcan?" 

He quirked an eyebrow at you. Was that amusement you saw in his eyes? "Not to my knowledge." he intoned. 

"Well, maybe not on Vulcan. But they definitely exist on Neptune. When I was kid, my family and I used to take "road trips" to Neptune. We had family there working at the Agricultural Colony. We went there every year. The first year that my brother and I were back from the Academy we developed the recipe for Neptunian Nachos." You held up the plate to the side of you and gestured around it like a game show host presenting a prize.

"All the greasy goodness of Terran nachos with a slight twist. The jalopenos were grown on Neptune. I forget the exact reason why, but the soil on that planet enhances the capsaicin in peppers. The taste is--wait for it--," you paused for emphasis, "out of this world."

Spock leaned in and folded his hands on the table. You swore you could see the shadow of a  smirk. 

"I programmed the organic compounds into the replicator when I came on board. So you see, Science Officer Spock, I am offering the only Neptunian Nachos within 20 light years of this ship." You picked up a chip. "Sure you don't want a bite?" 

Spock raised his hand and surveyed the plate for a suitable chip. He picked one up and both of you took a bite at the same time. You were impressed when he didn't sputter or lunge for water like your friends did.

"Fascinating." he said.

Over at your original table, Reno turned to Stamets. "Tin man's got a heart. You owe me five bucks."