Spock One Shots

"Explain the Term 'Hung Over'. (Drunk Spock)

Dinner with your parents had gone great. Spock was, in many ways, the man your parents had been waiting for you to find. He was attentive. Respectful. He even remembered that your parents preferred white wine, and brought a bottle when you came over for dinner. When they offered to pour him a glass, he refused, explaining that Vulcans did not generally drink alcohol. 

Vulcans typically didn't enjoy dessert either. But Spock was half human and he also had a major sweet tooth. When your mother brought out a chocolate cheesecake for dessert, he had two large slices. He savored each bite, and you smiled to yourself. It made you happy to see Spock openly enjoy something. 

When you got home everything seemed normal...at first. But as the night wore on, you could definitely tell something was different about Spock. He had started slouching and he was stumbling around as if his sense of balance was off. 

"Spock, is everything okay?"

"Unclear. I seem to be experiencing some strange physical symptoms."

You put his arm around you and gently guided him to the couch. You spent the next thirty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with him. During that time, his condition became worse. He eyes went glassy and he didn't seem to be able to sit up straight. Most alarming of all, he had started...giggling. 

"Why are you laughing, Spock?"

"I imagined that the way I look now is akin to how Mr.Scott looks after 8 miniscule units of whiskey. 8 is his minimum number of units. Such an illogical man. His liver must be made of tritanium." 

You had to agree. Spock did seem drunk, but he hadn't had any alcohol. Just the vegetable curry your Dad made and your Mom's chocolate cheesecake. On a whim, you web searched the phrase "Vulcan ate chocolate. Dangerous?" into your PADD's search engine. You discovered that Vulcans did not get "drunk". However, when they ingested large amounts of sugar and/or chocolate, they experienced "sugar highs" that were almost identical in nature. 

You looked at Spock. "Someone's going to be hung over in the morning."

"Explain the term 'hung over'. "

"It means that you're going to feel a little sick for awhile but eventually you'll be fine. I'm going to run you a bath and get few other things ready. Don't go anywhere, ok? I'll be right back."

He nodded slowly and you went to go prepare. If Vulcans came down from being drunk anything like your friends at the Academy did, Spock was in for one heck of a night. It took you forever to find a bucket, but you did, and had it with you as you walked out of your room to join Spock. Unfortunately, your boyfriend had not stayed put. He was sitting at your desk, vigorously scribbling something on a napkin.  You walked up behind him.

"Spock?"

He turned to look at you. "T'hy'la, you have returned and just in time. I have decided to add some romance to our evening together with some Earth poetry."

"Poetry?"  

"Yes, poetry. As with many other activities, I am a skillful in the art of seduction.  I will now express my high regard for you using the Japanese art of haiku." 

You let out a snicker. "What?"

" My sexy human," he began, reading the five-syllabled line off napkin. 

"Oh my." 

"I see no reason to hide/my deep affection." He beamed at you, waiting to hear your praise. 

"Wow, Spock. That is just so...original."

"I am glad you approve. I have written 12 more. Shall I--"

"Maybe later. Right now, we should get you into your sleeping clothes and get you some water." 

Spock smirked at you. He swaggered over to you and gently grabbed the tip of your chin. "(Y/N), if you wish for me to disrobe, I will gladly oblige. Though I do not believe you will wish to sleep once I do. "

Your eyes widened. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. What would happen if I gave him the Hershey bar in my purse? No! No (Y/N)! Get a hold of yourself. He's drunk!  

After about thirty minutes, three more propositions, and five glasses of water, you were finally able to corral Spock into the bed and tuck him in securely. He was far too "romantic" right now to handle a bath, so you made a mental note to suggest it in the morning. Just as you were about to turn off the lamp by his side of the bed, he turned to you and asked, "Why me?"

"What?" you said.

"You could have been with anyone. So beautiful. So brilliant. I was surely not the only one who desired you. Why did you choose me, (Y/N)?"

You stared at him for a moment. You couldn't believe he was asking you this. You had often wondered why Spock had chosen you. You never dreamed it would be the other way around.  How incredible. 

"I chose you...because you make me laugh. Because I like who I am when I'm with you. And because you're kind and honorable and unique." You caressed his cheek lightly. "Is that a sufficient answer?"

Spock grinned. "Quite."

He closed his eyes. You were about to leave the room and let him sleep it off, when he suddenly grabbed your wrist. 

"(Y/N)."

"Yes?"

"Do not tell McCoy."

You smiled and kissed his forehead. "Not a word."