It's Different

Chapter Eight

I continued watching the picture in gross astonishment, this couldn't be real. This wasn't happening to me. I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare since the beginning of summer and I couldn't wake up from it no matter how I tried. To my dismay, this wasn't a dream, this was my horrible reality and there was no way that I was able to escape it. I studied the picture nervously, biting my fingernails, when was this taken? I tried to jog my memory. I gasped loudly when I realized that the picture was taken the night of the graduation party. There weren't many aspects of the room showing in the picture however I recognized my bed sheets as much to know where it was taken. As for the time it was taken was clearly the night of the party, because I distinctly remembered the makeup I was wearing and also how my hair was styled that night. In the photo I was topless, I tried to think back to that night, the only person that could have possibly taken this photo was Brendon. But why would it be going around school right now? How did he get it to the entire student body? Did Taylour do this? I screamed internally, how would I be able to function in this prestigious school with this picture out there for everyone to see. Tears welled up in my eyes, surely, I wouldn't have a future in this school. What if the board decided to kick me out of the school for breaking the code of conduct?

"Leah... Leah.... Leah," the voice gradually increased then I realized that I had zoned out. I wiped my eyes quickly then stared at Alaric. Although I didn't want a relationship with him, we were in the process of becoming acquaintances. If Alaric saw this picture, he would judge me, he would never want to be associated with me, he would brand me. "Are you okay?" I couldn't tell him, and I knew that soon enough he would find out for himself. I wanted to be far away from him when he found out, I couldn't bare to see what I know would be the look of disgust on his face. It would be easier if he just found out on his own, at least he would ignore me and then I'd pretend like we had never met.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "I need you to drop me to one of the independent dorms." I needed to get to Sara and Hazel as quickly as possible.

"What about Class?"

"I can't make it today."

"Just tell me what's wrong," he pleaded. "what did your friends tell you to make you so distraught?"

"Look you can't fix it, so just leave me alone and drop me where I want to go!" I screamed at him. I felt like I was losing my mind, losing my cool, on the verge of an attack. I tried to calm myself down, I didn't want to have to take my pills in front of him, even though I felt like I really needed them. I wanted to be in a safe place and right now that was not a classroom and neither would it be my dorm room. Sara and Hazel were my best options, even if I had this inkling feeling that they would also judge me, however they did call me to tell me about the picture, they wouldn't have done that if they didn't care, would they? "stop right here," I said as we approached my destination. I got out of the vehicle hastily as Alaric remained silent watching me with sympathy in his eyes. He wouldn't have been watching me like that if he knew what was out there, if he knew everything, I thought. I knew that I made him feel bad with the way I spoke to him, but he would get over it eventually, me on the other hand felt like I had a nervous breakdown coming. As I went up the stairs to Sara's apartment, I reached for the bottle of Anti – Depressants. I looked at it with water dripping down my eyes, would this bottle be my answer to everything for the rest of my life? I was pathetic, my life was pathetic, why would I have ever thought that I could come here and start a new life. I put the bottle back in the bag as I ran upstairs straight to the apartment. I knocked on the door, which was opened two seconds later by Hazel. As soon as I saw her, all the tears came rushing down, she embraced me in her arms.

"I feel like.... everything.... is just going to shit," I said between heavy sobs as I started to hyperventilate. "All I wanted... was.... to start over.... and I can't.... I can't even manage that," I continued crying loudly as Hazel passed her hands through my hair and on my back.