It's Different

Chapter Sixteen

Levi and I spent the rest of my mid semester break together. I had to admit it was refreshing to have personal time with him. It was also good to know that he no longer hated me, I mean he still didn’t trust me  but at least we were on speaking terms. Well, we were on temporary speaking terms. As soon as Levi and I left this hotel room, that would be the end of it. We had promised to never bring it up again and never speak about it with anyone. He would go back to Cassie and I would go back to school. There was no way I would be able to forget this week, however I owed it to Levi to not disrupt his life. If Cassie had found out, that would have been the end of his relationship and I didn’t want to be the cause of that…again.

We were now preparing to the leave the hotel. A part of me felt sad that this was over.

“You okay?” Levi asked me as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Is it weird that I’m going to miss this?" I asked shyly.

“I think I’ll miss it too,” Levi sighed. “back to the real world German.” He zipped up his suitcase.  “Ready?” I nodded.

We hopped in the taxi, as Levi instructed the driver to drop me back to Mainlands . We sat next to each other in the silence, it was really as though nothing had transpired between us. I took out my phone and messaged Asha, I told her that I would give her a call later. I knew that she was eager to hear what happened and what my decision about school was. I also owed her an apology for the way I had treated her, and speaking of apologies, I had three more in line, my mind was on my friends, hopefully I would be able to salvage what was left of our friendship. According to what Levi said, if the friendship was real, it would never die and I had really hoped that I hadn’t already fucked it up. I opened the group chat, at least they hadn’t left it. I messaged them and told them that I wanted to speak to them, none of them replied. I sighed, I didn’t blame them, I had a lot of making up to do. One thing was sure is that I would try my very best to do right by them going forward.

I was now back on campus, I couldn’t say that I was particularly happy to be back, but I was going to have a positive attitude. After the talk with Levi, it put a lot of things into perspective and if I’ve heard anything before that was the most accurate is that I needed to grow up. I needed to stop acting on impulse and I definitely needed to start thinking about peoples feelings. First on my agenda was Sara and Hazel, I went straight to the apartment.

I knocked on the door softly and reluctantly, half of me was afraid that they would turn me away. I tried my best to be optimistic.

“However they react, they are entitled to their feelings and I deserved it because I treated them like they didn't matter,” I said aloud to myself as Sara opened the door and stared as me in disgust.

“Why are you even still here?” Sara said unenthusiastically.

“Can I come in?” I asked. Sara rolled her eyes and stepped away from the door as I let myself in. “Hi Hazel,” I greeted her as she shrugged, not making eye contact with me.

“Can you get this on with? Say what you have to say,” Sara hurried me, taking a seat. Both she and Hazel were now looking at me attentively. Even though I was receiving a hostile attitude from them, I could see the hurt in their faces.

“First of all, I would like to begin by saying a huge sorry to the both of you. Since I’ve come here all you guys have done was be there for me, even though I continuously pushed you all away, you were still there, blindly investing your time in me, even though I’m not worth it,” I cleared my throat. "I don’t deserve friends like you all, but I promise to try to be a better person, that’s if you would let me back into your lives.” I stared at them and they stared back at me in silence, then they turned to each other, it seemed like they were deliberating on a decision. I stood there, tapping my feet nervously, if they decided to reject me, I wasn’t sure how I would react, however I was prepared for any outcome.