It's Different

Chapter Fourteen

I spent the rest of the day idling around campus with nothing to do. I wasn’t ready to go back to Sara’s apartment, I just wanted to be alone, but there was no possible place to go in order for me to be alone. I settled for walking around the campus, listening to music and trying my best to cleanse myself of all the thoughts that I was having. The day was almost over, and I still had no idea what I was doing.  I was only midway through the semester and my life was a complete mess. When I finally thought that I was getting my life together, getting focused, getting things right, it was shattered. I could have gone on with life, accepting what had happened, but there was no way that I could get it off of my mind. Slowing, I was leaning closer to dropping out of school, nothing would have made me feel better. Yes, I had friends, and I had the potential, but after what Brendon said to me, I felt like I had no dignity. Mentally, my life broken beyond repair and I had no clue how I was going to fix it.

My phone rang, and again I saw that it was Sara, for the entire day Sara and Hazel had been checking up on me, at every hour. I understood that they were worried about me, especially given the state I was last night, but I felt a little overwhelmed with the calls that were happening so often. I waited for the phone to ring out, as I had done for the entire day, and I shot them a quick message in the group chat saying that I was okay. As I put my phone in my pocket I saw Taylour leaving the dorm building alone, it was either now or never.

“Taylour,” I called out as I walked hastily towards her. She looked at me with a confused expression. I couldn’t blame her, this girl and I were not friends, we had never had a civil one on one conversation, so if this situation were reversed I would have stared at her the exact same way. “Can I talk to you?”

“Talk to me about what?” to my surprise she answered me in a very calm manner.

“Firstly I would like to apologize for starting a fight with you at the party.” I didn’t know how to start this conversation, this could possibly soften the blow? Make her see me as an ally? Yeah right, I thought.

“You had a lot of time to apologize to me before, but you didn’t, so what is this really about?” she said now slightly aggravated.

“Could we talk in private?” I asked her.

“Can you hurry this up please? I have somewhere to be.” She rolled her eyes. I sighed, there was no easy way around this.

“I know about you and Brendon and I want to help,” I blurted out.  She looked around in shock, I could see the hurt in her eyes. I instantly regretted this, I should have never listened to Khan, this was all a mistake.

“I don’t know what you think you know,” She raised her voice and stepped closer to me “But don’t you ever walk up to me again!” she brushed past me, almost knocking me down and walked away in rage. I couldn’t even be upset about her reaction, because frankly I would have reacted the same.

“You’re so stupid sometimes Sophia,” I scolded myself out loud. No one would feel comfortable talking about such a situation, let alone someone who they hated. I decided that I would go to my dorm room, providing that I was already downstairs the building.

 I entered into the room and let go a little sigh of relief, when I saw that Eleanor wasn’t there. I sat on the bed, it had been a couple weeks since I had last been in this room, my college experience was not supposed to be like this, I was not supposed to be spending this time living in another student’s apartment, I was supposed to be on my own, living free, enjoying the average university life. Instead I was here worrying every minute and looking over my shoulders.

 A few minutes later Eleanor stormed into the room and came straight up to me and gave me a hard slap across my face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I exclaimed.