Us, Colliding

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It's late when we return to my dad's house, but my dad is still up. He beams when he sees us.

I think if he were a dog he'd be a Labrador or something - a retriever anyway - those sorts of dogs are always happy to see you.

Dad pulls me into a hug and I hang there limply, it's not that I don't want to hug him back, I do, I just still feel weird about it.

Obviously, I feel weird a lot.

Neri goes in for a hug too, again with the weird.

Everyone is so easy with each other out here. A little too easy.

The kiss with Hanu pops into my mind and I shiver, my stomach like ice. I can't tell if I'm ashamed by how I behaved or whether I feel uncomfortable because he clearly overstepped my boundaries.

Neri and my dad are talking as dad makes us both a ham sandwich.

"Cober Rock, huh?" Dad says, placing a plate in front of us both, "you jump, Myra?"

"No," I say, "I'm not a strong swimmer."

"Yeah, the water is pretty deep," dad says, "maybe before you leave, huh?"

I take a small bite of my sandwich, I'm not sure how I feel about the prospect of heading home. I haven't decided what I'm going to do when I get back, go into work or go to college. I still feel like a kid - also there's my mum to think about, although she seems a lot less clingy now she has Tony to focus on.

"How's your uncle?" My dad asks Neri.

"Really good," Neri says, "the shop is doing well, he wants to set up an online store so he's looking into that and the house is coming along nicely," Neri turns to me, "Uncle Loto owns a souvenir shop," she explains, "it's only small but it's his baby."

I nod.

"And how's your mum?" My dad asks her, cutting his sandwich in half.

Something in Neri's expression darkens, "um, you know, she's mostly the same - good days and bad."

This interests me. I can't say why - because I don't know - but seeing Neri closed off like the lights inside dimmed for just a moment - I want to know about that darkness.

My dad is nodding, "well, give her my love," he says.

Neri nods.

Later I tentatively ask her about her mother, she shakes her head.

"It's my story to tell," she says, looking directly at me, "you can't ask me because it's mine, remember?"

I do remember and I think I understand.

The only difference is that I want Neri to ask me about my story, but something tells me that Neri definitely doesn't want me to ask her about hers.