Obsession (vkook)

12

    "What are you thinking about?"

Taehyung startles slightly at the sound of Jeongguk's voice, turning to find him standing by the door that led to his balcony.

    "You let yourself in?" He asks, outing the cigarette in his hand.

    "It was unlocked and you weren't answering. I'm sorry~"

    "No, no. Don't worry, it's fine." Taehyung smiles, meeting him at the door. "Are you okay? You're here earlier than usual. Did something happen?"

    "No. Jimin had a doctors appointment. Some laser hair removal thing that he does." Jeongguk returns a smile and hugs him. "I couldn't stand being alone when I knew I could be here with you."

Taehyung chuckles, kissing Jeongguk's cheek as he pulls away from the hug.

    "What were you thinking about?" Jeongguk asks again. "You looked upset."

    "Oh, I'm not upset," Taehyung says. "I was just thinking. Nothing serious."

Jeongguk nods, letting Taehyung go as he walks back into the apartment. "You talked to your family right? Told them you were okay."

    "Why are you so worried about my family all of a sudden?" Taehyung asks, walking to the living room.

    "I don't want them to worry and start coming around unexpectedly," Jeongguk says, sitting down on the couch with Taehyung.

"They won't. But you'll meet them eventually, right? After you figure things out with Jimin?"

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung with a confused expression. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...once you leave him." Taehyung clarifies.

"Oh." Jeongguk looks away. "Well, you know how complicated that whole situation is, Tae."

"I know. And I understand, I do," Taehyung says. "It's just...they'll start to wonder who I'm spending all my time with."

    "Where's this coming from?" Jeongguk asks, his brows drawn together. "Did you tell someone about us?"

    "Jeongguk~"

    "Answer me, Taehyung," Jeongguk snaps in aggravation. "Did you tell someone?"

   "Only m-my brother," Taehyung admits. "But he won't say anything, I swear~"

    "Are you fucking serious?" Jeongguk asks. His expression, oddly, isn't angry. His brows are drawn together in hurt, but his voice is calmer than expected. "I trusted you."

    "My brother wouldn't tell anyone. He won't," Taehyung says. "Trust me~"

    "I did trust you!" Jeongguk answers with tears forming in his eyes, his voice finally rising. "I trusted you and you told someone!"

Taehyung swallows hard. "Jeongguk~"

    "No." He stands, looking down at Taehyung. "I asked you not to tell anyone for a reason, Taehyung. How could you?"

    "I'm sorry, Gguk. I know, but he was already on to us. If I didn't tell him he would've found out another way." Taehyung's voice trembles as he tries to explain himself. "Please, trust me~"

    "I obviously can't trust you," Jeongguk says, shaking his head as he wipes his tears. "I'm leaving."

    "Jeongguk, please don't~"

Jeongguk snatches away before Taehyung can grab him. "I don't want to see you anymore."

    "Don't leave. Please," Taehyung begs, tears forming in his eyes as well. "Please, don't leave me."

    "It's over, Taehyung," He says, his words completely crushing Taehyung. "We're done. And it's your fault."

When Jeongguk walks away Taehyung wants to follow him, wants to continue to beg him to stay, but his feet feel glued to the floor.

He watches the younger leave, flinching when the door slams behind him.

Tears fall down Taehyung's face as he stands there, silence ringing loudly in his ears.

May 16th, he ruins everything.

——

Taehyung was used to being alone, he's been alone all his life. But something about going from seeing someone every day, to suddenly being completely alone made it so much harder now.

Not even the excessive amount of smoke he inhales calms the tremble in hands or the thoughts racing through his mind.

"Hey, Gguk, it's me again. I know you're angry with me, but I really need to see you. It's been a week now."

No matter how many times he calls or how many messages he leaves, Jeongguk won't answer or reply.

It's like he just disappeared.

At the library Taehyung sits alone, staring at Jeongguk's spot as if he could make him magically appear.

He feels so alone.

Days turn into weeks and before he knows it, it's been two and a half weeks.

"Hey, Tae. I'm calling because I haven't seen or heard from you in while," Seokjin says on the other line as Taehyung lies in bed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," He says, his words slightly slurred due to the sleep aids he'd taken a few hours ago.

He couldn't fall asleep on his own anymore, and it was easier to sleep through the pain than to be awake through it.

"Are you sure? You don't sound so good," His brother says. "Are you sick?"

"I'm just tired." His eyes fall shut. "I'm fine."

"Oh...well, okay," Seokjin says. "I'm gonna come check on you tomorrow, maybe we can go get some food~"

"Don't, hyung. I'm fine. Really," He urges. "I want to be alone."

"Okay." Seokjin sighs, Taehyung can hear the frown on his face. "Well, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Mom's worried about you."

"Don't worry," Taehyung says, tears forming in his eyes again. He just couldn't stop crying. "I h-have to go, hyung."

"Are you crying, Tae?"

"I have to go."

Taehyung ends the call, tossing his phone to the side and covering his face with his hands.

He eventually pushes himself up into a sitting position, grabbing his phone and searching for Jeongguk's number again, he had to keep trying.

It rings and rings but it still goes straight to voice mail.

"Jeongguk, I know you're pissed at me but I can't stand this anymore. It's been two weeks, almost three now. Please, just~ I need to see you, or talk to you. Can you text me, please?" Taehyung begs through his tears, all his pride out the window. "I'm sorry I told Seokjin, I thought you'd understand. I was wrong, Gguk. I can't stand being alone without you."

Maybe he's delirious, or maybe he's going insane, because what he says next is something that has never crossed his mind until this moment.

"I'd rather die than feel like this," He says, his words trembling as he tries to control his emotions. "I'd rather die than live without you, I won't live without you. I love you. I love you too much."