if i could describe
the way i feel
as accurately but easily as possible
i'd simply tell you it's music
take your favourite song, for example
and imagine it's the first time
you've ever heard it
in your entire life
play it through once,
you know this is it,
the song you'll have on repeat
for heaven knows how long
do you remember how you felt
the first time you heard
the very first note
and the song in its entirety?
it's a thrill, isn't it?
the type that has a physical
effect on you, that almost palpable
sensation in the tips of your fingers
something makes your chest ache
even if the song isn't sad
but it's just you
responding to the music
of course the first time you hear a song
you don't know the lyrics
and you don't necessarily
stop and think and mull then over
but you feel the lyrics
as you allow yourself to sway
and maybe tap your fingers
against the table, or your thigh
when you play that song a second time,
after you've found out the name
and you've added it to your
mile-long playlist
you listen to it
at the highest volume
your device allows you to go,
surrounding yourself with the music
the instruments are overpowering
the vocals suffocating
but you curl your toes and
feel the goosebumps on your arms
you hear the lyrics now,
but they're the least of your concern
because the melody is as
jarring as it is refreshing
and you feel yourself
yearning to know
every line of the bridge, and the chorus
and the verses in between
you hum along
you don't know the lyrics yet
but you can't stop your vocal chords
from producing their own harmonies
a call to your heart
from someone else's soul
but you don't know this
quite yet
and then, the song becomes routine
a welcomed constant
in your every day life,
still special, but no longer shakingly so
there's nothing wrong with that!
you've grown to love this song
it's your favourite
and it accompanies you through it all
but one night, while you're sat
hunched over a notebook
with your pen in hand,
it happens
the song is in low volume,
it is nothing but background music
but a verse jumps out and
into your immediate attention
and the clenching of your chest
and the curling of your toes
and the goosebumps
and the thrill of the first time, return
it's like that, isn't it?
falling is funny that way
you were my song, and each time,
a new verse jumped to the foreground
i wanted to keep these sensations longer
i wanted to keep playing the song
even if it was getting louder
and louder and louder
it was a beautiful song,
it was both thought provoking
and beautiful
but it had its sharp edges
it was everything i ever wanted
in a song
the closest thing to perfection
i had ever experienced
but life is funny that way
isn't it?
i can't hear
the song anymore
my love for you was like a song
you can understand this analogy
can't you?
i think you'd agree
i hope,
one day
or another
i'll get another chance
maybe with this song,
maybe with another,
but i just hope
that one day
i'll listen to my favourite song
first serendipitously
as nothing more than
another song on the radio
and then more intently
until my hands tingle
and my lips stretch into a smile
and i shiver with excitement
i hope it gets louder,
line by line,
instrumentals, and bridges
and the chorus, of course
i hope to hear
my favourite song
with the volume
all the way up
