i close my eyes, breathe through my mouth
i do this to taste the memory
first column, second seat—
the best seat in the house, i should say
the farthest away from the teacher's desk,
close enough to the podium for presentations,
angled just right so i can ogle at you during class
without being obvious
room F39
science wing,
bunsen burners, big lab stations,
microscopes, goggles,
a microwave
the works!
it truly was my happy place
even when it wasn't
even when you weren't
if i take a deep breath, i can picture it again
2014, the day of the homecoming game
my hair was out of its ponytail
because my hairtie had snapped
my hair was in the way of the
fibres i was examining
you let your own hair loose
and handed me your hairtie
such a simple gesture
had my heart beating like someone else's life
depended on it
don't be selfish, don't be selfish!
but your fingers lingering on my skin
were as selfish as it gets
did you know i'd remember that moment
for years and years?
i remember the cheap fake blood
that i revamped so it would look and feel
more realistic
i remember your worried face and the way you cradled my hand
because you thought i was bleeding
i was so close to not telling you that
you had misunderstood
because i liked the warmth of your hand
too much to dare letting go
room F39,
first column, second seat
lab team 6
and your constant meddling in these
two spots
even if i tried hiding from you,
you'd find your way into my line of vision
so
do it now
pop up out of nowhere
cradle my hand
give me your hair tie
brush your fingertips on my pulse
do what you do best
and meddle
i open my eyes
and once again i'm in this
little town
states away from you
as always
as always
yet, despite the time,
my heart seems to love waiting
in the science wing,
room F39,
on the laptop that's provided to teachers
adding a song to the queue
while you looked on
from the first column, second seat
and waited
