Crazy Life

Chapter 14

Since the call from Bardock yesterday, Goku had sprawled out on the couch watching random documentaries while staying in his lounge pants and snacking on popcorn. Whoever this uncle was obviously wasn't well liked judging by his father in laws and husband's reaction.

Vegeta tried to entice Goku to join him in the hot tub, but he only got a half grunt response, which was an insult considering how irresistible he is. Nonetheless, Vegeta chose to leave Goku for a bit while he agreed to go out for lunch with Bulma.

"Hello?.. were you even listening?!" Bulma waved her hand in front of Vegeta's face, with Goten sitting on her lap pointing and laughing at him.

They had gone to a small café next to the shopping mall, and since arriving Vegeta has been lost in his thoughts about this uncle that no fucker thought to mention till now. It perplexed him why his husband seemed so bothered by it too, he hasn't seen him show that much disinterest in a person since his mother.

Vegeta blinked at Bulma waving her hand in front of his face while one waitress placed their coffee and a carton of apple juice for Goten on the table.

"What?" Vegeta asked, lifting a brow at her.

"I take that as a no then," she rolled her eyes and handed Goten his juice carton.

Vegeta let out a sigh and grabbed the small spoon next to his coffee, he started to stir it keeping his eyes on it, "some bitch in work was talking shit about you behind your back, which you didn't do anything though you and I both know you can be a bitch on times, anyway this other woman is pregnant but doesn't know who the father is and some friend who you hate is getting married next month and didn't even think to invite you." He placed the spoon down and glanced back at Bulma and Goten who both stared back at him with their mouth ajar in bewilderment, "did I miss anything?"

"I... well... I don't know what to say," Bulma admitted, and she glanced at Goten who shrugged at her, "I think even your son is impressed by your listening skills."

Vegeta leaned back with a smug grin on his face and started to take a sip of his coffee, fuck yeah, surprise the bitch with his listening skills. he then furrowed his brows while she was fussing over Goten, shit... since he's been dating Goku was he now the female in their relationship, he hardly ever took much notice on whatever Bulma blabbed on about in the past and here he was feeling all smug for surprising her with his listening skills as well as taking a mental note how much of a bitch her friend was for not inviting her to the wedding. Good god, was he turning into a woman?! His eyes slowly trailed up towards Bulma who was looking back at him with a small smile.

"Everything okay Vegeta?"

Vegeta pursed his lips and placed his coffee down, he knew he could practically tell her anything as she has witnessed a few of their crazy incidents. "So, my husband denied me our usual this morning," he pouted resting his elbow on the table and propped his chin in his hand.

"No way, what has the world come to if you two haven't had your morning sex," Bulma rolled her eyes.

"Damn it this is serious and please watch what you are saying in the presence of my three year old!... kid has ears like a bat," he moved his glance towards Goten smiling at him then back onto Bulma.

"You guys don't always have to have canoodling, do you fear your dicks may fall off or something?"

"Bulma!" Vegeta snapped and groaned as Goten started to giggle.

"Sorry, I mean your giggle sticks," she shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. Nothing fazed her anymore and she had great enjoyment watching her ex squirm.

Vegeta crossed his eyes in exasperation which induced Bulma to giggle at him, he then puffed out his cheeks and leaned back on the chair crossing his arms. "You know, I'm not even going to question why or where you came up with such a stupid name for a penis," he said arching a brow at her. He's heard of a few names but 'giggle sticks' is simply ridiculous.

"Says the one who refers to his husband's as Moby dick and-"

"That's enough!"

"Well maybe he just wasn't in the mood."

Vegeta gaped at her, what was she implying? His husband was not in the mood? The day that happens he'd assume the world has ended.

He opened his arms out and glared at her, "Look at me, how could he turn me down?" He watched as she rolled her eyes at him whilst taking a sip of her coffee, cheeky bitch, even he'd do him. "Don't roll your eyes at me, need I remind you of when we were first dating and—"

"Okay, okay... so, maybe spice things up then?"

Vegeta watched Goten rummaging through Bulma's handbag and pulled the bag away from the curious toddler before looking back at Bulma. "What are you suggesting?"

"Remember that first argument we had when we were dating and I got the edible body paint?" She winked at him and propped her leg on top of the other.

Vegeta swallowed and his cheeks started to warm up when Goten cocked his head and stared back at him with a lost expression. Damn was she a crafty bitch that time, he then sighed when she raised her brows at him thinking she had come up with such a clever suggestion.

"That won't work, last time I bought that stuff I caught Kakarot using it as spread for the kids sandwiches..." he watched Bulma's face contort to confusion and he just knew from that look alone she was going to have a few questions. "Don't ask."

"Well, you know he has a sweet tooth right?"

"I don't like where this is going," he sighed recalling all those awful puns during their intimacy after his darling husband had chocolate.

Bulma leaned forward with a small grin. "There's edible candy cock rings, you should totally buy some and surprise him with it, you may get a blow job at least," she winked before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Dare I even ask how you know about this?"

"How do you not know about it?" She raised an eyebrow at him knowing just how horny the pair are.

"You think it will work?"

"Of course it will, maybe put some chocolate spread down there too for good measure," she giggled when Vegeta cleared his throat and avoided making eye contact. "Hey, I'll watch Goten while you quickly go pick some up after lunch."

"What makes you think that I want to buy them?!"

"Do you want your naked cuddles with your frisky husband or not?" Bulma leaned back, folding her arms against her chest while grinning back at him.

Vegeta scowled at Bulma and her vulgar words in front of his son though the temptation of getting to sleep with his husband was easily overriding his brain and he could imagine how happy Kakarot would be putting candy into their sessions.

He could hear chuckling from Bulma as she was watching him think very hard into his thoughts of the beautiful blowjob that might happen with this new candy cock ring, "I'll watch Goten now go on and go get some of those nice candy cock rings and have fun with your husband"

Vegeta pursed his lips and nodded and before he knew it, he was running out of the cafe and to the nearest store to try and find those rings.

Bulma rolled her eyes as Vegeta ran off and then looked at Goten, "Your dads are crazy you know that?" he just shrugged at her and they went back to finishing up what they ordered.